Conspiracy Theory: The Biggest Threat to the New You

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”
- Louis Nizer

Every path has its obstacles. Along the road to positive thinking, you will find only one: yourself. Human beings have a tendency to create conspiracies against themselves and impose the self-limiting beliefs that surround them on every aspect of their lives, whether these restrictive ideals result from environment, upbringing, or a combination of influential factors.

You may not even recognize your own self-defeating actions. However, the power to access the benefits of positive thinking rests solely within yourself- and you are the only one that can stand in your way. Therefore, you must learn how to step aside and allow yourself to develop to your full potential.

Following are some of the most common patterns of self-limiting behavior, along with steps you can take to get out of your own way and blaze your personal path to happiness and success.

There’s Always Tomorrow: Eradicate Procrastination

“To be always intending to make a new and better life but never find time to set about it is as... to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.”
- Og Mandino

Procrastination is the easiest thing in the world to perfect- and one of the hardest habits to break. There will always be a good reason to put off whatever you want to accomplish, whether it’s vacuuming the living room carpet or finally taking that European vacation you’ve been planning for years.

When you realize you’re putting something off, one of the best things you can do is to ask yourself why you don’t want to do it.

The reasons for procrastination are as varied as the people who practice it: the task is boring or repetitive; you are afraid you won’t be able to handle it; the project is difficult or time-consuming; it is going to be an unpleasant experience; you dread the possible consequences of seeing the task through to completion. Once you know what is stopping you from moving ahead, you can determine your strategy for accomplishing your goal and get un-stuck.

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Cultivating Your Positive Self Image!

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”

- Jim Ryan

Now that you’ve planted your mental garden, you will start to see the beginnings of growth in yourself and your surroundings. At this stage, it is important to nurture the tender new beginnings of your confident, positive self. You should learn to recognize the effects of positive thinking in your life and encourage the development of strong roots to anchor yourself in success.

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

- Aldous Huxley

As you practice using positive thinking, you will find that things begin to change for you. Sometimes the change is so gradual you don’t notice anything at all, until one day someone else tells you that you seem different. They may ask if you’ve gotten a new outfit, changed your hair, lost weight, or won the lottery. Tapping in to positive thinking not only makes you happier, it also makes you more attractive; the kind of person others want to be around.

Now that you’ve had some experience, you might recognize some of the common signs of positively charged people. Check out this list of things you have to look forward to.

You Know You’re a Positive Thinker When:

· Your grueling drive to work goes by so quickly, you wonder why it ever bothered you in the first place.
· The clerk at the grocery store gives you the wrong change, you point it out with a smile- and she happily corrects the mistake.
· You waited in line at the bank for twenty-five minutes on your lunch hour...and your life didn’t end.
· The new part for your car finally arrived at the garage after a week on backorder, but it was the wrong one. You were so nice about accepting the delay when the garage called that they offered you a substantial discount on your repair bill.
· Every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, you’re smiling- and you don’t think you look like a moron.
· You put the oven on too high and burned dinner...then wound up having something even better than you’d planned.
· Suddenly you have a lot more free time on your hands, and plenty of things to do with it- plus enough energy to do them.
· The last time you thought the word can’t was in the phrase I can’t believe all these great things are happening to me.

Positive thinking has the power to change your life, as long as you believe it does. As you continue to use positive thinking techniques, you will find you don’t have to put much effort into achieving what you want.

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Why sometimes, you should just give up: Surrender

That’s right. Sometimes, you should just give up.

This may not be the type of advice you’d expect to find in a book about positive thinking. However, there is a specific time when you should surrender- and that is when you hate doing what you’re doing.

“Like what you do. If you don’t like it, do something else.”
- Paul Harvey

Too many people end up settling for the life they think they ought to have, the life others have told them to expect, or the life they believe they’re stuck with.

You must realize that there is room on this planet for everyone, and if you’re feeling trapped in a job you despise or a living space you can’t stand, you need to make a change- not down the road, when you have time, or as soon as you get whatever it is you’ve been waiting for; but right now. That elusive “someday” is always going to be in the future, and you can’t catch up to the future. Now is the only time you have.

This doesn’t mean you should drop everything and throw caution to the wind- at least, not in most cases. If you’re like most people, you have responsibilities that must be taken care of. However, there is always something you can do right now to cast out your net and catch “someday,” and start pulling it toward you.

Do you hate your job, but lack the experience to get a different one? Start taking night classes or sign up for an online course. There are hundreds of accredited universities offering distance learning classes over the internet. Is your house or apartment located in a neighborhood that started out great, but is becoming worse every day- and you haven’t found the time or the money to move?

Take a close look at your budget and see if there’s anything you can do without for a few months, or ask your landlord or bank if they have any other properties you could look into.

Waiting fuels the fires of apathy. Doing something about your situation, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, can start a chain reaction of enthusiasm that will energize you to reach your goals. You deserve to get what you want out of life while you’re still here to enjoy it. Don’t put it off another day, because your “someday” is right now!

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Powerful Motivators

Ask any business owner and you’ll find out that rewards are one of the most powerful motivators. People are more willing to work toward a goal when they know they will get something out of it at the end. Since your boss probably won’t reward you for losing weight or remodeling your bathroom, you can plan to give yourself a reward when you meet a given goal.

When selecting self-rewards, be sure to match them to your goals. This will not only ensure you don’t get tired of the same reward, but will also help you when you’re planning the strategies you’ll use to accomplish your aims. For example, if you’d like to spend less time watching television and more time outside or with your family, you can reward yourself with a trip to the theater to see a great movie. If you’re planning to quit smoking, part of your strategy could be to set aside some of the money you’ll save by not buying cigarettes and get yourself a new outfit, or something you’ve had your eye on for a while but haven’t been able to afford.

Some goals come with intrinsic rewards already built in, yours for the claiming when you reach your objective. For example, if you’re going to start your own business, you already know you’ll be rewarded by working for yourself, possibly even by working out of your home. Whether you’re working for an intrinsic reward or providing yourself with an incentive, treating yourself is a great way to generate enthusiasm for the task at hand.

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Knowledge Is Power

If you’re having trouble summoning enthusiasm for a particular task, try to seek out someone who enjoys doing that sort of thing and ask them to partner up with you. Like smiling, enthusiasm is contagious. If you spend some time observing another person’s enthusiasm, some of it is bound to rub off on you.

If you don’t know anyone who might be enthusiastic about what you’re trying to accomplish, try going online to look up articles or blogs (web logs, which are usually personal, regularly updated online journals) pertaining to the subject.

Sometimes merely reading about someone else’s enthusiasm can help you find some aspect of the task to enjoy, and get you through it with a minimal amount of stress, anxiety and dread. (Be warned: it may be difficult to discover anyone who enjoys scrubbing toilets or emptying cat litter boxes. In these cases, you might be on your own!)

Muddling through a particular task or project can be daunting if you don’t know what you’re doing. If you’re the type of person who never asks for directions or reads the instructions, you may be tempted to take on challenges in areas where your knowledge is limited. Even if you’re not, you may find yourself faced with taking on a task you don’t feel qualified to handle, whether it’s filling in for someone in a different department at work or changing an infant’s diaper for the first time.

The more you know about what you’re doing, the easier it will be to accomplish. This may seem self-explanatory, but many people don’t realize that you can always find out more information. It only takes a few minutes to look up something on the internet, consult a reference book, or call up someone you know has experience with the issue you’re facing.

Gaining knowledge has other benefits as well. The more you know about a given subject, the better you will be able to focus on your goal and work toward it. You cannot reach your destination if you cannot find the path. Look upon knowledge as the pruning shears of your mental garden, clearing the way for enthusiasm to grow and spread. With the right set of tools, you can accomplish any task easily.

Sign on the Dotted Line

Being committed to achieving your aim is essential to generating a sense of enthusiasm. Whether you want to have gleaming white teeth or flash your pearly whites at crowds of thousands as you accept your Academy Award, you should be completely committed to what you’re trying to accomplish.

One way to cement your personal commitment is to outline a step-by-step plan for reaching your goals. You can do this with any task, no matter how great or small (though you might save time to generate a mental plan for things like washing the dinner dishes, as it might take you more time to write it all down than it would to actually wash them).

On a sheet of paper- or for monumental tasks such as changing careers, at the beginning of a notebook- note your starting point: where you are now. Leave yourself some space, and then jot down where you want to be and how long you plan on taking to get there. Then go back and break down the process of getting from point A to point B in detailed steps. This not only helps you to visualize reaching your goal, it also allows you to cross steps off as you complete them. Your enthusiasm will be sustained as you move further toward your goal.

While you’re writing things down, consider creating a contract with yourself to reach your objective. You can even ask a friend or family member to act as a witness, which will further solidify your intentions to follow through. Your contract can be a simple document stating your promise to yourself, or a detailed map of the things you will do to help yourself reach your aims, with deadline dates for additional motivation and bursts of enthusiasm. Keep your contract posted visibly to remind yourself of your intentions. Every time you see it, you will find yourself eager to achieve your goal and fulfill your contract.

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Magic of Positive Thinking: Hook Up to Positive Energy

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.”

- Helen Keller

Enthusiasm is the sunshine of your mind’s garden. Possessing enthusiasm for all that you do is essential to the process of positive thinking. Just as plants require sunlight to develop and grow, utilizing the power of positive thinking requires enthusiasm to energize your potential and ensure an endless supply of fuel.

You will discover that the more enthusiasm you generate, the more energy you’ll have to put in. There are some things it will be easy to generate enthusiasm over, and others where you’ll have to stretch yourself to find what will spark your enjoyment.

For example, no one has trouble generating enthusiasm for spending an unexpected bonus from work or taking a night out. However, you may find it hard to get excited about washing dishes or filling out your income tax forms. But part of the magic of positive thinking is developing the ability to find the good things in any situation and use them to get through the difficult parts.

Like developing a positive mindset, enthusiasm must be cultivated and sheltered from potentially damaging emotional storms. There are several methods you can use to put a dose of passion into everything you do, whether it’s finally taking that dream vacation or scrubbing out the basement. You can choose the method that best fits whatever situation you’re facing and ensure yourself the energy to tackle anything life happens to throw at you.

What’s In It for Me?

One of the most elemental solutions for finding enthusiasm is to focus on the benefit you will derive from completing a particular task. In some situations it’s easy to discover the benefit.

For instance, you may hate wrapping presents, but you know the person you’re giving the present to will be overjoyed when presented with this lovely paper-wrapped gift, and so you derive happiness from envisioning the recipient opening the present. This is an especially useful tactic when you’re still up at 2 a.m. on Christmas morning trying to figure out how to wrap the bicycle you’ve just spent three hours putting together.

Other circumstances will not have such obvious benefits. If you were to find yourself trying to change a flat tire on the side of the road in the middle of a snowstorm (or a rainstorm, if you are fortunate enough to live in a snow-free climate) it would undoubtedly be difficult to find your silver lining. Under stressful circumstances, give yourself permission to think of the wildest benefit you can come up with. Perhaps you were on your way to a party you would rather not have gone to. In that case, your flat tire would give you the perfect excuse to turn around and go back home.

There is some good in every situation, whether it’s in the form of a benefit or a lesson to be learned (Lesson One: Never drive with questionable tires through a snowstorm to a party you didn’t want to attend in the first place). You can harness the power of positive thinking by finding that good and exploiting it, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

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Keep Pumping That Positive Iron!

As you come to the end of your daily positive thinking workout, look back and reflect on your progress. Was there anything that seemed easier to you? Were you able to find a faster solution to a problem that would have ordinarily eaten up a lot of time in worrying? Do you feel more relaxed and ready to try again tomorrow?

Congratulate yourself on your victories. By reinforcing your accomplishments, you help to firm the foundation of your new positive mindset and lay the groundwork for your success. Every positive thought brings you one step closer to your ultimate goal. You will soon realize that you can do this, and you will have much greater enthusiasm as you proceed.

Now that you’ve planted the seeds for positive thinking, the next step is to learn how to care for your mental garden. In the next section you will discover the fuel you need to nurture your seeds and coax new shoots from the soil of your mind. Meanwhile, keep pumping that positive thinking iron!

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Do Some Reps

When developing a positive mindset, the importance of repetition cannot be understated. Exercise is the key to building any muscle, so by viewing your optimistic outlook as a muscle, you can develop a reserve of happiness that will carry you through the most grueling events.

This is not to say you shouldn’t worry about anything. Ignoring troubling events won’t make them go away. It’s important to face your problems while looking at them through a positive lens.

The positive mindset itself doesn’t erase your troubles. It is simply a tool to allow you to find a solution without burning yourself out through stress and anxiety. You will find it far easier to solve problems when you can step back and look at the situation in a positive light; and often the solution will present itself with little effort, simply because your mind is clear and open enough to notice it.

The more you practice positive thinking, the more naturally it will come to you. You will find that frustrating everyday occurrences dwindle to minor nuisances, and eventually cease to trouble you altogether.

Keep practicing positive thought processes, and you will be well on your way to a low-stress, high-energy lifestyle that will allow you to accomplish anything you desire.

An incredible achievement – practiced and visualized a million times.

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Work Those Mouth Muscles

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a smile is worth a million. The power of a smile is incredible. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, the simple act of lifting the corners of your mouth can help you lift your entire spirit and find something worth smiling about.

Some of the greatest self-help advice out there comes from those who advocate “fake it until you make it.” This is especially true when it comes to positive thinking, and faking a smile goes a long way toward producing the genuine thing. You may end up laughing at yourself merely because you know you have nothing to smile about.

Another great thing about smiles- they’re highly contagious. A smile spreads faster than a cold in a daycare. Most people can’t help smiling back when someone casts a happy expression their way. This is a simple and exciting theory that you can test out for yourself.

Go to any public place and start smiling at random people, then keep track of how many smile back (even suspicious smirking counts!). You’ll likely find that 9 out of 10 of your targets return your joyful expression to some small degree, and you’ve probably just made their day a little brighter, too.

Learning to smile on demand is an important step in developing a permanently positive mindset.

One good technique for summoning smiles is to choose a happy memory that never fails to fill you with good feelings. Keep this memory at the front of your mental catalogue, and access it whenever you feel a case of the blues coming on. It may not solve your problems, but it will at least make you smile- which in turn helps you relax and take an objective look at your situation.

Smiling often creates a mental cue for the foundation of positive thinking and helps prime the pumps of happiness.

You should also spend a little time in front of the mirror observing your own expressions. At first this practice may seem uncomfortable or downright silly, but smiling at your own reflection has a positive effect on your psyche. You can even practice different smile variations: the amused smirk; the close-lipped leg-pulling smile; the toothy grin; the laugh-out-loud open-mouthed smile. Think of it as an Olympic event...it’s your personal Smile Marathon, and you’ll win the gold every time!

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Warm-up: Shake Out Negative Kinks

When you think about it, it’s obvious: negative is the opposite of positive, so in order to instill a positive mindset you need to get rid of negative thoughts. Sounds simple enough, right? The process is an easy one, but it takes practice to make it stick.

The first step in clearing negativity from your mind is to really pay attention to your thoughts. Whenever the words can’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, won’t, not, or never enter your mind, concentrate on what you’re thinking and turn it around to eliminate the negative wording. For example:

Your spouse and children are gone for a few hours, and you have the place to yourself. You’re indulging in one of your favorite activities. In the midst of your enjoyment, you start to feel guilty.

You think: I really shouldn’t be doing this. I could be getting started on the project I promised someone else I’d take care of. Your enjoyment starts to fade, and you stop what you’re doing, resentful that you have to tackle this boring project when you have so little time to yourself...

Does this sound familiar? The moment you hear yourself think shouldn’t, stop right there and change direction. In this scenario, you might instead think I really should be doing this. Taking time for me is important, and when I’m relaxed and satisfied I will be able to do a better job on that project I promised someone else. I’m so glad I got the opportunity to do something I enjoy.

Try to do this every time a negative thought creeps in. The more often you banish negative ideas from your mind, the easier positive thinking will become. You will be more relaxed and receptive to positive solutions.

In our next discussion, I’ll teach you how to work your mouth muscles!

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Change Your Mind, Change Your Life

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
- Abraham Lincoln

When tapping in to the power of positive thinking, the most important step is to create a mindset that allows you to think positively. Once you have pulled the weeds from your mental garden, you can begin to sow the seeds that will anchor your new way of life.

Creating a positive mindset takes training. In much the same manner as runners train their bodies to endure long periods of sustained activity, you can train your mind to sustain positive thought, and naturally defer to pleasant or optimistic paths.

At first, thinking positively may feel awkward or ridiculous (particularly if you’re the type of person who believes perky morning people should be shot). Keep in mind, though, that it does get easier the more you do it, and eventually, sustaining a positive mindset will be as natural as breathing.

Like any training program, there are steps you can follow to achieve your optimal results: in this case, a positive mental outlook. You may recall that it takes 21 days to form a new habit (what’s that...you’ve forgotten already?

Go back and add “long-term memory” to your list of habits you’d like to improve). Therefore, you should perform each of the steps for at least 21 consecutive days. You can take on one step at a time, or implement the whole program; just be sure you aren’t leaving anything out.

Step up to your mental treadmill, and let the training begin!

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Drop That Horseshoe: There’s No Such Thing as Bad Luck

“Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.”
- R. E. Shay

Have you broken a mirror in the past seven years? Any black cats crossed your path lately? In nearly every culture, in every part of the world, there are some things attributed to luck: the chance happening of good or bad events, also known as fortune or fate.

Luck is used as the rationalization for any number of seemingly inexplicable circumstances. A gambler winning game after game at a casino table is said to be “riding a lucky streak” (though his winnings can likely be attributed at least in part to skill); a homeless person is deemed “down on his luck” (though there is almost certainly a concrete, albeit unfortunate, circumstance behind his tragic state); an individual for whom things always seem to go right is ascribed “the luck of the Irish” (and just what, pray tell, is so lucky about Ireland?).

Those who subscribe to the luck theory and observe superstitions such as avoiding the number 13 and tossing salt over the left shoulder when it spills will insist that it works.

For them, it does work; however, this is merely a testament to the power of the mind to persuade us to see what we wish to see. Luck works in much the same way as positive thinking. If you believe you are “safe” because you avoid opening umbrellas in the house and walking under ladders, then you will be safe.

On the other hand, if you break a mirror and convince yourself that bad luck is destined to infect you, you will subconsciously sabotage yourself and therefore attract bad luck- or at the least, chalk up unfortunate events to the breaking of the mirror instead of discovering what really happened so you can prevent a reoccurrence of the problem. Seven years is a long time to wait for your luck to change.
It’s your time – how will you spend it?

Instead of rubbing the bellies of pregnant women or hoping to find heads-up pennies lying around, why not try positive thinking?

You will achieve the same results, and you won’t have to rely on discovering four-leaf clovers or avoid stepping on sidewalk cracks.

Using the power of positive thinking is as simple as believing good things can and will happen to you. You don’t have to memorize a complicated set of rules or follow elaborate rituals to attract happiness and success. So toss that lucky tee shirt from high school and tap in to positive thinking today. Your bad luck sentence is officially discharged.

There’s some good stuff coming up. Do you know that once you change your mind, you change your life?

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Meditation: Join the Club: Live and Online Support Groups

You may be surprised to learn that whatever type of trauma has affected your life, there is probably a support group of people who have been through the same thing and are willing to talk about it with you. Many kinds of trauma are difficult to discuss with anyone who hasn’t had the same experience. Support groups are created with that truth in mind.

If your trauma is a common one, such as alcohol abuse, there may be a live support group that meets regularly in your area you can attend. Most churches, community organizations and local newspapers provide lists of area support groups with meeting times, locations and contact information for the coordinators of the group.

If there are no live support groups in your area, you might consider forming one. You can find guidelines for forming support groups at your local library or online.

Even if the support you’re looking for is not so common, the internet has allowed people all over the world to connect and unite who might otherwise never have known anyone else like them existed.

There are communities, forums and private chat groups online to cover just about every walk of life, from displaced homemakers to victims of sexual abuse to reformed ex-convicts. With careful research, you can find a supportive and friendly internet community to share your trauma with and connect on a level that would otherwise prove difficult, or even impossible, for someone who hasn’t experienced a similar event.

Next time, I’ll let you a secret…There’s no such thing as Bad Luck!

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Meditation: Connecting Above Pain

Meditation is a time-honored relaxation technique that has been used successfully in Eastern cultures for centuries to alleviate stress and focus the mind. This technique has recently gained popularity in the United States as millions of people discover both the physical and mental health benefits of meditation, while realizing that it’s not as difficult as it sounds.

In trauma applications, meditation can help you rebuild the energy your negative emotions zap and learn to cope with the difficulties associated with trauma. Meditation is one of the easiest and most inexpensive forms of self-therapy: all you need is yourself and a quiet room.

There are several variations of meditation you can perform. You should choose the steps or combination of steps you’re most comfortable with and use them on a regular basis. Following are a just a few of the hundreds of meditation forms in existence; or you can combine elements of different meditation programs to create your own unique method.

NOTE: In all methods of meditation, the object is to clear your mind of conscious thought and concentrate on simply existing in the moment.

Walking Meditation: When you perform walking meditation, you can meditate and exercise at the same time. To meditate while walking, you simply concentrate on either the feeling of your foot meeting the earth with each step, or on your breathing, which should be relaxed and natural. Achieving concentration in order to block out thought takes practice, but the natural rhythm of walking provides an excellent starting point for the beginning meditation student.

Standing Meditation: Performing standing meditation is a good way to practice proper breathing, as a standing position is conducive to correct posture and fully open airways.

To practice standing meditation, stand straight and comfortably with your feet pointed forward, approximately a shoulder-length apart. Place your hands one over the other on your lower abdomen and concentrate on breathing. Take slow breaths and hold for about four seconds before releasing slowly. Proper meditation breathing is done through the nose, both in and out. Standing meditation can be performed with your eyes open or closed, according to your preference.

Seated Meditation: This is the most popular form of meditation. In a quiet room, be seated either in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor, or on the floor in a cross-legged position (usually Indian or Lotus). As with standing meditation, you can concentrate on breathing and slowly empty your mind of thought. Seated meditation is performed with relaxed, open eyes focused on a fixed point on the floor approximately three feet in front of you. Many practitioners of seated meditation use external stimuli for concentration (see “Meditation with External Stimulus).

Reclined Meditation: Reclined meditation is best performed just before you intend to go to sleep, as often you will find yourself falling asleep as you do it. This variant is the same as standing meditation, only lying down. The eyes are always closed with reclined meditation. This is a helpful technique for people who have trouble falling asleep.

Some forms of meditation are best done at the end of the day, when it won’t matter if you fall asleep.

Meditation with External Stimulus: If you cannot (or would rather not) focus on breathing, you might consider using an external stimulus to focus your thoughts for meditation. One traditional example of external stimuli is a mantra: a word or phrase that is repeated either aloud or silently throughout the meditation session.

Some of the more popular meditation mantras are Buddhist or Indian in origin, such as om or aum (OHM: no English translation); om mani padme hum (OHM mah-nee pah-d-may HUNG: the jewel of the lotus); or rama (RAH-muh: chant used by Gandhi).

You can also create your own mantra with a meaning significant to you or your trauma. Other external stimulus used in meditation are: candles or incense; instrumental music or recorded chants; fans or white noise machines; small fountains; or recorded nature sounds such as waterfalls, bird calls or whale songs. You can use whatever you’d like, as long as it is soothing and relaxing to you.

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Journaling To Release Part (2)

Here are a few tips on choosing an appropriate journal for your self-guided therapy:

· The size, layout, look and feel of your journal should be symbolic, either of your intentions or your personality. Take your time in picking out a journal you enjoy looking at and holding. Give yourself permission to spend a little more than you usually would, and avoid bargains or sales (unless the one on sale is exactly what you’re looking for). Attaching a slightly higher dollar value to your journal than what you might pay for something like a typical school-grade spiral notebook gives the importance of your journal a mental boost, and helps remind you that what you put inside it is important to you. If you don’t want anyone else to read your journal, no matter what, invest in one with a lock.

· Choose a writing implement that you will use specifically for your journal. With the exception of a pictorial journal, pencil is the poorest medium to use, as it conveys the sense of a temporary state that can be changed with a pass of the eraser. Pen or marker are the best choices. You should write with the medium you feel most comfortable in, that benefits you in a symbolic or significant way. You can choose an ink color you like, buy a set of glitter pens, pick up a novelty pen, or even get an old-fashioned quill pen- they are available in ballpoint versions or traditional chisel-point and inkwell styles. Be sure to only use the writing implement you choose for your journal, and not for grocery lists or jotting down phone numbers.

· Find a home for your journal and keep it there unless you’re writing in it. Establishing a permanent place for your journal- under the bed, on the top shelf in the closet, in a dresser drawer, on your nightstand- is an important step in your journaling routine. This helps to reinforce permanence and form new habits (and eliminates the possibility of losing your journal).

Soon…I’ll share with you the amazing benefits of meditation, and how to do it well. Stay tuned!

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For Your Eyes Only: Journaling to Release Part (1)

Keeping a journal or diary is one of humankind’s oldest traditions. The thoughts, feelings and emotions of generations have been preserved through countless pages inscribed with words that are often kept private throughout the life of the writer, and revealed only in the interests of adding to historical record.

For therapeutic purposes, sometimes the act itself of writing down past trauma allows you to face it more fully and release the negative feelings associated with the event.

The journaling process can be a short-term program used solely for working on a specific trauma. If you keep a short-term journal, you may wish to burn or destroy it at the end of the process as a symbolic realization of your freedom from trauma. If you enjoy journaling, you may wish to continue keeping a written record of your thoughts and feelings. Many people keep daily or weekly journals their entire lives. Journaling is an excellent form of self-communication that can benefit you whether or not you’ve experienced trauma in your life.

There are many different formats your journal can take. Following are some of the most common, but feel free to come up with your own journaling style to suit your specific needs:
· Freeform thought. Freeform writing is a technique used by many authors and aspiring authors to jumpstart creativity. Keeping a freeform journal is a good way to uncover thoughts you may be hiding even from yourself, and for beginners it’s an excellent starting point. The instructions for writing freeform are simple: just sit down with your journal and writing implement of choice, and start writing. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or even coherence. Simply write down whatever comes to mind. Try to do this for at least five minutes to give your mental engines time to warm up. If you don’t feel like stopping after five minutes, just keep writing. Daily freeform writing is one of the most therapeutic practices available.
· Memory release. This technique is most beneficial for short-term journaling, particularly if you intend to destroy the journal in a symbolic manner when you’re finished. Memory release journaling is exactly what it sounds like: you merely write down your memories of trauma and any feelings associated with them, and then release those negative feelings. Imagine that they are now on paper, and therefore no longer in your heart or mind. For this reason, it is more effective to destroy the journal when you are finished with it.
· Dear Jerk letters. If a specific person or group of people, living or dead, was responsible for the trauma in your life, writing a letter or series of letters to them can be helpful in transcending your trauma. You will probably never send them the letters, but putting down in physical form what you would say to them if you could is immensely satisfying on a personal level. You can address the letters to their names, or give them creative nicknames (Dear Jerk, Dear Friend-Stealer, Dear Scum of the Earth) to protect your privacy and add more kick to your scathing monologues.
· Story-form therapy. Some traumas are too fresh or too painful to relive fully. In these cases, writing a fictionalized account of the experience can be helpful in releasing negative emotions. You can change the names, locations, ages, or even genders of the participants in your personal trauma to give yourself a more objective view of the situation and assist you in coping or finding closure. Creating alternate versions of the situation helps to displace bad feelings. You can even write yourself a happy ending, or give your fictional self victory over your oppressor.
· Pictorial journals. You may feel words are inadequate to convey your traumatic emotions. If this is the case, you might consider drawing a journal instead. Just as you don’t have to be a good writer to keep a journal, you don’t have to be a good artist to draw one. Use whatever form you feel comfortable with, whether it is stick figures, abstract scribbling, or fully detailed rendering. The only important step in journaling is to get something concrete down on paper, and no one but you will ever have to look at it.

Choosing the right journal can be just as important as what you place inside it. The human mind is a powerful thing, and our thoughts and perceptions have an incredible influence on our actions.

Wait…There’s more to come. Watch out for part 2…

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“It Could Be Worse”: Dramatization and Awareness

For mild trauma, sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. If you are able to look at the situation objectively, you may be able to “laugh it off,” or at least arm yourself with enough knowledge to realize you had it easy.

There are two ways to approach this method. The first is to simply use your imagination. Picture the trauma, and then imagine all the ways in which it could have been worse.

For example, if you have a checking account, you may have bounced a check, ended up having to pay a fee to the bank and had to postpone paying one of your bills or go without something you planned to purchase. Now, imagine what might have happened if you bounced multiple checks. You might have had to put off several payments.

The snowball effect could have caused you to lose your car, or have your power shut off. Your bills could have spiraled out of control, eventually leaving you homeless.* When you imagine the worst, it’s easier to put setbacks into perspective.

Traumas can be seeds for more pain – or for growth.

*NOTE: Bouncing multiple checks and losing your power, your car, or your house qualifies as major trauma, for which dramatization is not always effective.

The second approach to dramatization and awareness of minor trauma is to research actual cases where the situations of other people turned out worse than yours. You can search online for news stories, or browse the periodicals archive at your local library.

Generally, you will always be able to find cases concerning people who had more difficulty than you, yet they survived- and you will too. After all, you’re still alive. If you want to take this method a step further, you can do something to help others in your situation. Make a donation to a specific case or a related charity, or start a support program or fund drive in your community. Taking action, no matter how small, often helps to alleviate the feelings of loss and helplessness associated with trauma.

I’ll be sharing with you one of my most favorite past time – journaling. Watch out this space.

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Trauma: Breaking the Chains by Tenzin

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
- Sir Winston Churchill

Bad things happen to good people. It’s a fact of life. One of the most extraordinary things about human beings is our capacity for resilience in the face of trauma. Miraculous survival and recovery are not occasional happenings in the world.

Every day, someone survives a tragedy. Every day, someone takes another step toward a happier life despite a past trauma. Every day, life goes on, and we adjust. And we are stronger for it.

The suggestions in this section, once again, are not substitutes for professional psychiatric care. However, many people have found self-help effective for relieving the stress of trauma and taking control of themselves.

Whether you choose to seek professional help or embark on a healing path yourself, know that you can break free and begin to live again when tragedy touches you. You don’t have to let trauma keep you from achieving what you want out of life.

You can choose just one, or any combination of these techniques to work on freeing yourself from trauma. If you are uncomfortable with an approach, move on to another selection.

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“Exposure Therapy Implementation! By Tenzin

Some ways you can implement exposure therapy for the BIG Three fears!

Humiliation

• Wear your slippers to the grocery store. If you’re feeling ultra-brave, scuff your feet across the floor to call attention to your slippers. If you’re feeling ultra-timid, go to a grocery store far enough from your house that the shoppers will probably never see you again.
• Sing at a karaoke bar. While you’re sober.
• Choose one completely inappropriate article of clothing (a Dr. Seuss hat, a big pair of fuzzy mittens in the middle of summer, a headband with bumblebee antenna) and wear it in public as long as you can. This is not only good exposure therapy- it’s fun!
• Join a local Toastmasters club or offer to give a public presentation on an area relating to your expertise at a library or school. Public speaking is an excellent channel for exorcising humiliation, especially if you do it on a regular basis (that’s speak in public, not humiliate yourself).

Rejection

• Call up a deejay at a local country radio station and request a song by Metallica or Ozzy Osbourne. Be aware that you will be rejected; you might be laughed at and rejected, and there is a possibility you may be laughed at and rejected on the air.
• If you’re single, use an online location service like Classmates.com or PeopleFinder.com to find an old school classmate you used to have a crush on. Contact them and ask for a date (or just initiate a conversation). If you’re married, contact an old school classmate and invite them to lunch. At worst they’ll say no; at best, you will have rediscovered a friend.
• Write a poem or a short story and try to submit it to a newspaper or magazine, or enter a writing contest. If you aren’t rejected, become a writer immediately.

Failure

• Try to nail Jell-o to a tree.
• Buy a new video game and attempt to win it in one sitting. If you play video games on a regular basis, buy a video game that’s different from the ones you usually play (for example, if you enjoy fighting video games, try a quest-driven format. Or video chess.).
• Start a new hobby that requires creating an end product, such as knitting, model kit building, or cake decorating. Please note that if you are working on your dietary habits, it is not advisable to embark on cake-decorating exposure therapy to combat fear of failure. You will feel obliged to consume your failed attempts. Instead, try vegetable sculpture or fruit bowl arrangement.
• Challenge Jeff Gordon to a stock car race. This will also help overcome your fears of rejection and humiliation, as at least one of them is bound to happen.

Conquering your fears is like climbing a mountain – do it one step at a time.

You can determine your own form of exposure therapy by coming up with ways to face your personal fears one small step at a time. If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend to help. Most people are more than willing to try something new, especially if they get to watch you do something entertaining.

NOTE: These exercises are not intended as a substitute for professional psychiatric care.

If your fears are extraordinarily strong and interfere with normal functions or daily activities, you should seek the advice of a certified psychiatrist. Self-induced exposure therapy can be effective in reducing or alleviating normal fear, but should not be used in cases of mentally crippling or trauma-induced fear.

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“Step Away from the Panic Button: Conquering Fear” by Tenzin

“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears- of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark or speaking before the Rotary Club, and of the words “Some Assembly Required.”
- Dave Barry

Where all else fails to stop us from achieving what we want from life, fear steps in. We experience fear on both conscious and unconscious levels, and it is one of the most limiting emotions we possess. In some cases fear is justified, and even healthy.

For example, a person contemplating crossing a busy street will harbor a healthy fear of being struck by two tons of rapidly moving steel commonly known as a motor vehicle (at least, if he or she is a reasonably sane person who understands the basic laws of physics: moving car + walking person = splat).

This fear breeds caution, which causes the person to look both ways for oncoming traffic and wait for an appropriate time to venture across the road.
However, unjustified fear- which can be just as crippling and realistic as justified fear- is more often the case when fear is a factor. Not many people risk their lives on a regular basis. Humiliation, rejection, and failure top the list* of limiting fears that can be overcome with practice and determination.

Actually, spiders top the list of fears for most people. Arachnophobia- fear of spiders- is the most common type of fear in the world. However, fear of spiders is completely justifiable, as spiders are creepy eight-legged insects with fangs, alien eyes, and a tendency to drop on you out of nowhere.

One of the easiest and most successful methods of dealing with fear is exposure therapy, which is actually facing your fears one small step at a time.

If you don’t feel you can handle exposure therapy alone, enlist a friend to participate- especially if you can find a friend who doesn’t fear the same things you do.

With exposure therapy, the objective is to experience fear to a small degree several times, so that each time it becomes easier to conquer. (Please note that exposure therapy does not apply to every situation. For example, if you are afraid of flying, it is not recommended that you leap from successively higher perches and attempt to become airborne.)
The next time, I’m going to reveal to you some of the ways you can implement exposure therapy for the Big Three fears!
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