My stomach ties up in knots at the thought of approaching others! What to do if you are overly shy?

Do you often feel uncomfortable in a social situation? Perhaps you’re overly shy? Or your stomach ties up in knots at the thought of approaching someone even just to say “Hi!”

Well the good news is that there are many techniques which you can use to help you overcome this problem of social shyness or anxiety.

I’m going to share one of my favourites below. But first, three important points that need to be highlighted (so imagine them covered by ink from a bright yellow fluoro highlighter pen)

1. Don’t expect to get the confidence of Tony Robbins in one day. All changes happen in small steps. Make an effort to stretch yourself just a little bit further every day. And celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are. Those small victories will over time grow into a massive change in your confidence.

2. The best way to overcome a fear is to face it and succeed. What I’m presenting today is one way to build the courage to face your fear. What you need to do though is not only use it, but also search out a whole host of other techniques as well. And use them! Different techniques may be more appropriate for different situations. We’ll of course be talking about many of the other techniques in future articles.

3. As always, if your social shyness or anxiety is causing difficulties in your life, please consider talking to a doctor or a counsellor. They will be able to expand on this strategy, and provide you with many more. They really can help.

So, as promised, here’s one of my favourite techniques for helping you feel more confident as you approach other people in a social situation.

You will be tapping into one of the greatest powers you have within you. More powerful than all the fear you may currently feel.

That power is compassion.

In many of us though it lies asleep, a luxury we feel we can’t afford just yet. Maybe something we’ll get around to exploring when we get over our problems and start feeling happy about ourselves. After all, how can we be compassionate towards others when we don’t even feel good about ourselves?

Is that what you think?

Well, I think we’re better served by looking at things from a different perspective. One that sees compassion not only as a tool for helping others, but also for helping ourselves.

So, how do we use compassion in this situation?

SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AS BEING JUST LIKE YOU!

They are human. Somewhere within them they have fears too. Their fears may not be visible to you on the surface, but they’re there. We are all human.

We all desire human contact!

We all desire friendship!

We all desire to be loved!

So before approaching someone, remind yourself that they too may have difficulties making the first move. They may be waiting for someone to talk to about their problems and their issues.

They may be waiting for someone just like you, who can understand them and their own fears. Someone just like you, with a heart filled with compassion and love. And perhaps in time, if a friendship develops, you can help them with their own fears.

Why does this work? Simply because it takes the focus off you, and places it onto the other person. How can you help them? How can you be their friend in a time of need?

Of course, don’t approach them with these questions directly. It would not be appropriate in most social situations, especially if you don’t know the person yet. Just approach them with this understanding, that they’re just like you.

They too are human. Make conversation. Talk about them, and their interests. Many times this may lead nowhere. Sometimes though, it could develop into one of the best friendships of your life.

They’re just like you. So there’s no need to be afraid. They also want someone to talk to. Help them!

You can let your shyness or anxiety be a source of fear within yourself, or you can let it build your compassion towards others who are also facing their own demons. Choose compassion! In return, you will also be helping yourself overcome your own fears, one conversation at a time.

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"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!" - An amazing course! Highly recommended!
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
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How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Stepping out of my comfort zone can be scary and lonely!

I really know I’m alive when I’m outside my comfort zone.

The comfort zone is an amazing place of security, comfort, safety, and protection. Stepping out this zone can be scary and lonely, and involves stretching and growing; this is the bit where physical pain comes into it.

When I was little I remember my mother telling me I was suffering from growing pains because my legs ached, or my knees ached, as a matter of fact anything that ached was due to growing pains. Expanding the comfort zone for me is much the same.

The best thing of course is the end result! This will be when mastery has finally been reached and with it increased inner strength and confidence.

This doesn’t just apply to the ‘big stuff’. This applies across the board no matter how big or small.

Below I’ve listed 5 easy things to help with becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Starting with the most important:

1. Start by noticing what you notice. Each time you do something different notice what your reaction to it is and where this reaction manifests within your body.

2. Keep a journal or diary of feelings and reactions as you continue to grow through stepping out of your comfort zone.

Write three pages in your journal or diary each morning about your ever expanding comfort zone. Write for at least one month then reflect on your pages, starting from page one, noticing any patterns, useful or not.

Use a different coloured pen for things that worked for you in becoming more masterful.

Again using a different coloured pen make note of what definitely did not work.

3. Ask yourself the following questions in regards to growing and stretching:

“What needs to happen now to make it less painful for me?”

“What are the benefits for me in mastering this new thing (relationship, job, task etc)?”

“What am I learning from this experience?”

“What am I not learning from this experience?”

4. Turn negative self-talk into positive speak. The more often positive self talk is practised the more comfortable it will become, until it’s fully integrated and natural.

5. Know that it takes time to become comfortable with something new and different. Unfortunately there is no instant fix or ‘cure’ (I would’ve found it by now!). The quicker the mastery levels raise the quicker the return of a comfort zone.

Some suggestions to help deal with the uncomfortable may be to take up a meditation program, Breath Work, some transformational coaching for inner peace, or investigate a flower essence practitioner near you.

The outcome of this effort will be living how you want to live, and knowing that you’ve achieved this through your own efforts.

A great friend of mine once said to me “Become comfortable with the uncomfortable”. During my uncomfortable moments, I remember that phrase. I know that once mastered, I’ll become comfortable once again…well until the next time I decide to learn something new.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!" - An amazing course! Highly recommended!
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

What to do if you are constantly feeling depressed!

It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it.

It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.

Work - Work life generally suffers when in the throws of depression. It is more difficult to concentrate and not as easy to create and maintain good professional working relationships and partnerships.

Furthermore, it makes being a “Self-starter” more unlikely. Rather than moving forward, maintaining the status-quo becomes more acceptable, even if only unconsciously.

Love – The love life of a person with depression can suffer tremendously. Regardless of How much someone may profess their dedication to another person, if the other person can never see the bright side, it can wear on them.

Life is short, right? Love conquers A WHOLE LOT, but it doesn’t conquer everything. Sometimes we must add internal fortitude to love to truly be invincible. Besides isn’t it better to fight, not just for you, but for this person that you love as well?

Health – University studies have proven that people who are depressed are more likely to get sick, and more likely to die of an illness than those who are content. It is in your benefit, health wise, to fight your depression as well.

A recent New York Times article, citing a University study, indicated that persons who have been diagnosed as depressed have more hospital visits, and a shorter lifespan.

Prosperity – The depressed person sometimes lacks clarity of thought, and may miss golden opportunities to improve their lives if only they had been paying attention. This may be, perhaps, the most important point, since many people believe they would be happier if only this part of their life, or that part of their life, etc was different.

Allowing good things to happen in your life might just give you the jump start needed to end the cycle of depression and self imposed-isolation( even if only figuratively ).

Fighting depression can help your life in many ways. In some ways, the fight in itself is also a reward. You become stronger, do better at work, have better relationships, and can focus on what is really important in life so that you can improve it, for yourself, your family, friends, and loved ones.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!" - An amazing course! Highly recommended!
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

You might be embarrassed to do what you REALLY wanted in Life!

For a long time I yearned to improve myself; my true inner self, but something was holding me back. I made a lot of excuses back then; I didn’t have time; I was too tired; I wasn’t sure what direction my search should take.

However, the truth was I felt embarrassed about opening myself up, especially to those close to me. All that changed when I went for a stroll along a beach.

I went for a short camping holiday. I stayed on a small island. It was beautiful, very peaceful; just what I was looking for. On about the third or fourth morning I went for a stroll along the beach. The beach stretched the entire length of the island, about 20km and it was about 2km wide!

After about an hour or so, I came across a young woman who was doing some type of oriental martial art. She was all by herself and seemed totally absorbed in what she was doing.

Maybe this is not so strange, but what really seemed incongruous (and darn right silly to me) was that she was wielding a Samurai sword. I really did find myself thinking how silly she looked and actually became a little annoyed.

My first thought was: “What a poser”. Did she really love herself so much she thought other people would want to see her performance with a sword? I found myself wishing she would lose her footing and fall down, and then I could say: “that’s what happens when you think so highly of yourself”. But she didn’t fall over; she kept moving, slowly and gracefully.

I continued walking along the beach. I tried to enjoy the remainder of my stroll but I kept thinking about the young woman and her sword! “Why are some people such exhibitionists?”

I kept muttering to myself. I was no longer casually strolling along the beach, looking out to sea; I was marching, hunched over, looking at the sand beneath my shoes. I had become self-absorbed; lost in my not-too-pleasant thoughts.

I was brought back to this world when I almost walked into an elderly couple. I apologised profusely. They smiled back and said not to worry; they hadn’t been looking where they were going either.

They were a sweet old couple, with weather beaten but healthy looking faces with open smiles. It was clear that they were very much in love with one another; they each had a hand resting on the other’s waist. I don’t see too many elderly couples who still walk together with their arms about each and so they appeared a little odd.

But what was really strange was that neither of them was wearing any clothes!

I was embarrassed, naturally. But the elderly couple weren’t. They were in no hurry to move on and they began to talk to me. They told me they came often to the island. They asked where I was from and had I been before. They went on to tell me that they had been together 42 years and had 2 children. They also told me many things about themselves and asked many questions about myself. And soon, I forgot about their nakedness and felt at ease, and enjoyed our little conversation.

After a time, the old man said that they must be getting on their way and so we said our goodbyes and continued our separate walks; not once did they make any attempt to explain why they were naked.

As I thought about the old couple I couldn’t help but smile. They were so gentle and at ease with the world. I knew that they were what I wanted to be; free. Totally free from what others may think of them, totally free of any inhibitions to live the life they wanted.

My mind then turned toward the young woman I had seen earlier. I knew, of course, that she was not an exhibitionist seeking attention. She was also free. She was doing what she wanted because it made her content.

In truth, the annoyance I felt when I first saw her was not for her but for me. Annoyed because I was embarrassed, about what others might think, to do what I really wanted in life.

I came to a stop and stared out to the grey Sea. I knew that I must break free, not from the world or people around me, but from me; myself.

Without the thought crossing my mind I began to undress. I can honestly say I felt no shyness that day when I removed my last garment. I felt no different than when I undress to take a shower. I left my clothes behind and walked into the sea. I didn’t stay long, less than a minute, the water was freezing. But the dip had felt like a baptism. I walked back out and picked up my clothes. I did not dress but made my way back down the beach from where I had come from.

A while later I passed the young woman. She was sitting crossed legged with the sword across her lap, looking out to sea. When I stepped across her line of vision she looked at me and smiled.

I smiled back.

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"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Adversity as the Best Teacher: Stop wasting time feeling sorry for yourself!

I remember reading some time ago about a study of longevity in humans. There has been a large body of scientific research into the reasons why some people are long-lived but of course while various diets, health regimes, and regional or ethnic differences are often linked to living long it is a very difficult cause and effect relationship to determine because there are so many other variables involved.

However the study I remember didn't spend as much time on health and diet as many others. The researchers spent time observing and interviewing a number of people who are living long lives to determine what common factors these very diverse people shared.

Do you know what the single largest factor they all shared -- the trait that the researchers determined played the largest role in their long lives? It wasn't a specific food or faith or daily activity. It was simply the way these folks dealt with adversity.

The ways that these folks dealt with adversity did vary. Some had great religious faith, others had an unquenchable zest for life, and others had a great determination that they could and would overcome and difficulty.

If you think about it then this does seem to make sense. After all, the longer you live then the more adversity you must overcome. Human life is fraught with adversity -- both physical and emotional -- although each person's experience varies greatly. In order to survive adversity, to overcome loss and difficulty, and to succeed in life a person must have inner resources to draw from.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes says: "If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it."

Most of us have seen the evidence of this even if we have never formulated a scientific theory about it. We have seen the cancer patient diagnosed and then does not even live out the time doctors predicted.

We have seen the heart patient diagnosed who far outlives expectations -- by months and then years. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? I believe it has to be a will to live, some inner resource, that one group possesses and the other does not.

A few weeks ago my friend Richard's left hand was amputated after being injured in an accident with a log splitter. It was devastating to those who love him and certainly no one would have blamed him for becoming depressed and grieving.

But Richard hasn't chosen that path. Instead he is focused on what he can do, not on what he can't.

And if he discovers something that he can't do one-handed then he puts his considerable problem-solving abilities to work on a solution. He isn't simply reacting to a tragic accident but proactively seeking solutions.

He is not a saint. He complains about the pain and discomfort of the healing process and is sometimes frustrated by the trial-and-error process of his problem-solving, but he is not wasting time feeling sorry for himself.

He knows he has been given many gifts and those gifts include the ability to solve problems and overcome adversity. I can only hope when my time comes to face adversity that I can meet it with as much energy, determination, and confidence.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Aikido: The Way of Harmony and Taking Steps in NEW Direction!

"When attack becomes dance, everything is seen as a gift of energy."

That sounds great, doesn't it?

Couldn't we all use a little more energy from time to time? I know I could. Right now, for instance, as I sit with a blanket over my shoulders, sipping lemon tea and hoping that the next coughing spasm is not as ferocious as the last two, I could use a gift of energy.

The tickle that started in my nose and chest a few days ago has blossomed into a full-blown, body-wracking cold, complete with chills and fever.

The martial art Aikido (The Way of Harmony) teaches us to see everything that comes our way as energy to be danced with. By centering and extending our ki (life energy) we connect and blend with the energy of attack, making it a part of us. We redirect it from center, keeping ourselves and our attacker safe from harm.

How this elegant metaphor applies to situations in our personal and professional lives is a continuing source of study and fascination for me.

One of the ways I work at integrating Aiki principles into my life is by sharing the philosophy with others. We often use physical exercises which help our bodies remember how to do things like center, extend, acknowledge and blend. We begin to dance, flow and move with the energy of conflict instead of blocking it.

So I sit, wondering how I can dance with this attack. Even centering doesn't stop the incessant coughing. I have no ki to extend (it seems to have retreated to the innermost recesses of my system). The only thing I can think to do is to acknowledge and embrace.

But that, at least, is a beginning. In years past, I would not acknowledge being sick. When I was sick, I'd often go to work anyway. I plowed through what needed doing with half a spirit and wore myself out.

I probably infected half a dozen others in the process. I was sometimes ill-tempered, depressed and depressing to be around. If I can't acknowledge what's going on, whether it's a cold or a problem at home, I surely can't embrace it. By this I mean make it a part of me, connect with it so that I can begin to look for solutions.

Most of our conflicts, internal or external, would resolve themselves if we would only take this first step - acknowledge them!

But because we see them as negative, we immediately resist by fighting or fleeing. If I can see what comes my way as energy, with no positive or negative charge other than what I give it, I can be more curious about it. As unwanted as it may be, there's definitely more power in dancing with it than in resisting it.

As for my cold, I'm still trying to learn if there's a gift here somewhere. Let's see - I've already read a book I've been putting aside for months, started another, and gotten some much needed rest (in between coughs!). I may not always know what the energy offers, but when I can ask the question "Where’s the gift?" I've taken a step in a new direction.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

How to be Free Spirited?

A thought is an energy. Energy always wants to manifest itself.

Energy can not be stocked or blocked. It will get out anyway. If you do something to prevent your energy from flowing, it will find another way to express itself.

If you do not follow your own energy, your intuition, if you swim against the stream of your own flow, energy will express itself in sickness, tiredness, depression, skin diseases, temper tantrums, agressiveness and other not so pleasant things.

So why not follow the road where your energy takes you? This is your road, your way!

Do you know the song “I did it my way”? Well, if you do things your way, if you dare being yourself, you will feel the energy.

As long as you try to be somebody else to please your parents, peers, husband, wife, boss, children, neighbours or whatever, your energy will be stuck.

Ok, you say, but won’t I become selfish, an outlaw, a social disaster by following my own road? No! You will become yourself. That is freedom : to be yourself.

See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. As long as you try to be someone else, you are walking around with a costume that is either too small or too big for you. You don’t feel comfortable in it. And what else is, you “stole” a costume that belongs to someone else! That means you are not at the right place doing the right thing with the right people! You took someone else’s place, someone else’s costume!

How can you know if you are at the right place, doing the right thing with the right people? There is a very simple criterion to find out : the questions stop in your mind! This spinning machine in your head that was torturing you for years has just stopped by itself! You can feel it : you feel good, everything is “right”, your talents are asked for and you have the greatest pleasure to offer them to the those around you. Everything falls at his place. Questions vanish and make place for peace.

As long as you torture yourself with all these questions, it means you still didn’t find your right spot on earth. You are doing an activity that somebody else should be doing. And your “job” is getting done by someone else who is not at his right place either! You see? It’s like a puzzle : if everyone is at his right place doing the thing he knows the best, everyone would be at peace, filled with energy and health, and everyone would live in wealth.

Go searching for your right place. The moment you stop being harassed by so many questions and you feel your energy flowing in your veins, you know this is it! You are on your road, your road to freedom. This IS freedom!

Look for it, go for it!

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Can you control your thoughts?

I have friends who keep telling me: "If I can’t trust my spouse to keep their sexual promise to me why am I in this relationship? I don't ever want to "control" another person's life. I choose to believe in the promise until prove otherwise. Positive attracts positive."

My first thought was,"WOW"! Does one really feel that they are controlling their mate?

How does wanting them to just be with you, become a control factor?

How does your wanting to be just the one, become a control factor?

How does not wanting them to look, or talk personally to another person, become a control factor?

How does making them feel like you are suppose to be the only thing on their minds, become a control factor?

How does checking their phone logs, or their computer logs, become a control factor?

Is wondering what they are doing at every minute, a control factor?

Is questioning them on their every move, a control factor?

Is going through their pockets, looking for anything that might lead you to believe they are breaching their commitment to you, a control factor?

Is deleting messages, they may receive on their computer, a control factor?

Is asking their friends about a certain night out, a control factor?

Is tasting them with a kiss when they have been out, a control factor?

Hmmmm, how many of these questions, or worries, have you been guilty of?

I really have to wonder who it is, that is being controlled with these jealous worries? You or them?

I totally feel that jealousy is controlling you; if you can say yes to half of these questions, it is controlling you in a very, very destructive way. You are becoming caught in a vicious circle. You will search, and through that search you are allowing yourself to be controlled each time you apply any of the above thoughts or actions.

It's one of those "you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don`t" situations. To not question and search, you are left to trust and have faith and believe in your relationship.

Trust is a hard thing to do when you allow weakness to control your thoughts. To become skeptical with your heart is a very long, lonely journey to nowhere. You have to allow your mind to rest and trust the one you have chosen to give your heart to.

Yes it is risky, but that's what love is. Trust, believe, do not control, and most of all feel like you are that special person they chose as a life partner.

There are going to be times when your partner will be involved with someone that may feel threatening to you. This is when your partner will know the line. They will know to keep their personals in tact. They will know that to cross that line will only set your relationship up for complication.

One of my friends explained to me: "Most of us at some point are sexually attracted to someone other than our spouse but, it's whether or not we act on that attraction that defines our relationship."

AND

"I have to ask myself though...is it reasonable to control my significant others' friendships, “just in case” they develop a sexual attraction?"

This is when the line has to be drawn by both parties. "To be human is to error". I know that sounds like an excuse to fail another. It may be in some instances and it may not be in others. There are so many situations in life, that I can only generalize.

Again, "CONTROL" is the word that comes to mind here. The control mentioned above, is of oneself again, but in a positive way. We choose to control that moment of lust or interest; there are many words for it. The choice of control is really what matters in a relationship.

The worry of "What if", will always be hovering. This is where our true commitment lies. It is through belief and trust. Is it not sweeter to feel good about the,"US" in our lives? Is it not finer to feel that we can control the negative thoughts and only allow positive thoughts rule our actions? Well then take a positive, "CONTROL" on your thoughts.

Let your love guide you. Let your love show you the way to a life of smiles and happiness. Oh and HUGGZ. You all know I am big on those. Huggz are a very nice way to control ones body. It can send messages from one to another in the most pleasant way. So, why I ask, is that not something you would do every second you can?

It's like someone saying, "OK, you can eat as much of your favorite food as you want and never gain a single pound". HA, like as if we would not all take advantage of that in this world of restaurants at every foot of the road, that are full every day . Think about that people.

So, my question for you to think on tonight is," Do you want to be controlled by you, or do you want to control, you? I will leave you with that thought to ponder.

If you CONTROL your thoughts, (your feelings come from your thoughts) then you control your feelings!

You can't control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside!

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Are you surrounded by your friends and loved ones, and still be lonely?

Ever heard someone say,”…so-in-so is great, but I’m just not happy?”

Or have you ever wondered why you just couldn’t seem to find happiness? Read on to learn how you can choose to be happy.

Happiness is something you have to “choose” to be. A person could have all the money in the world, and still be unable to acquire what it is they really want, and ultimately remain unhappy.

A person could be surrounded by all their friends and loved ones, and still be lonely. And, a person could have to eat bugs to survive, in a cold, wet prison cell, and still be happy to eat those bugs, and happy to be alive.

This person has gratefully accepted their surroundings, and has found some good or greater meaning in it, making the experience more pleasurable. This person chose to be happy with what they had, by being mindful of the moment, recognizing the potential it may have.

Getting into the habit of being happy is easy. The first step is learning to appreciate your blessings, seeing the good or greater meaning of things. This requires that you become more aware of your five senses.

How else could the smell of freshly baked cookies cheer up your woefully dreary day? How else could the faint sound of your sleeping child’s breathing ease you into your own peaceful resting state?

We need to use our senses to become more aware of our surroundings, and accept them. It’s then that we can change our surroundings to become more pleasing to us. This could include some small, but significant changes, like placing candles by the bathtub, or buying a special lamp for your reading area.

Scientific research suggests that colors play an important role in one’s moods. Light green and orange seem to make people feel happier, whereas red makes them feel hungry.

Many people have been hiring interior decorators as part of their strategy for feeling better, as interior decorators have studied colors, patterns, layouts, etc., and they use these factors to create a comfortable living area, tailor-fit to your needs.

Just remember to research your interior designer, and be frugal. The positive effect that redesign brings, needn’t be boggled down by guilt from over-doing it. The idea is to do things that make you feel good. It won’t make you feel good if you overspend, or overindulge. But it will make you feel good if you shopped around, and you got the best deal, completely fitting all your needs.

Again, awareness is the key to happiness. After you have become aware of yourself and surroundings, you can choose to be appreciative and happy.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Most direct way of tapping into our cosmic intelligence!

Can dream interpretation be a valid method for self-growth?

My answer is Yes.

But to answer to the question of how can it be so...well... to be frank, I have no straight answers. All I can say is that the guiding hand of the intelligence of soul (we also call it higher self or Source) works in mysterious ways.

An understanding of our dreams is the most direct way of tapping into this cosmic intelligence.

This is one of the easier method when compared to other means such as clairvoyance training and other psychic developments. The reason for this ease is because most of us dream!

Interestingly, dream interpretation can also be applied in other areas too. It can be and has been used successfully to interpret the symbols of our clairvoyant vision while in meditation. Understanding the symbology can assist one in bridging a transition onto higher and more abstract means of knowing.

There are certain skills that I feel is important for successful dream interpretation. One of which is a developed intuition. Unfortunately, this faculty is something that no dream interpretation software or tool can have. It is something that only we ourselves can nurture.

Intuition is what binds and creates recognisable connections to the seemingly unrelated dream visions and symbols.This in turn structures the connections into a cohesive and meaningful message.

Intuition is not mental reasoning. It is simply that inner knowing of feeling (sensing) that is beyond logic and reasoning. Intuition is in fact a real cognitive process. Unfortunately our modern civilisation is heavily 'mental-rationalisation driven' and therefore is not in the capacity to validate a higher order process such as intuition.

In another word, we have been placing too much emphasis on logic, proving and reasoning.
Intuition, sometimes it doesn't tell you the outcomes of events. In my cases, it is simply an inner knowing that explains and provides answers.

If the thoughts are those of how superior one really is and is smacked with elitism and pride, then one better take a closer assessment, before getting too carried away.

These thoughts might not be intuitions. If they imply things like "You will be rich and famous if you do this' or 'she must be wrong as I am smarter', do double check. That thought may be coming from the part of the ego (personality) associated with body-mind survival.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

How you too can experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder!

For many people happiness is an elusive butterfly in the garden of life.

Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. The child sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. With eyes of wonder the child wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in their hands.

The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.

As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words “if only…” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary.

If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job, and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach.

The truth of the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness increasingly keep growing in our life and experience.

The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone.

To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.

Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life. If we neglect any one of these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing.

There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such frustration.

Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection.

Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within?

The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

What to do if you are dead broke, or know someone who is dead broke?

Have you been broke, or know someone who is struggling with being broke?

The pain and suffering of being in this state is truly awful. Being broke causes thoughts of despair, feelings of failure, desperation, struggle, lack and need. Being broke prevents us from reaching our potential, from living our lives freely.

Being broke prevents us from being wealthy.

How is this possible? Like attracts like. Being broke attracts more experiences of being broke. It is a vicious cycle, once that can very easily be transformed once we understand the fundamental laws of how our mind and spirit interact with the universe.

It is your underlying state of BEING, in this case, being broke, that creates the resultant thoughts and feelings in your mind. As a package, this whole message is broadcast to the universe, which in return gives you more of the same: experiences of being broke.

One of the laws of manifestation is that we must BE before we can DO, and DO before we can HAVE.

Of course modern society has twisted this all around. Being broke is a powerful message we are sending to the universe and ourselves. We are in a state of BEING, and it is broke. This will inform our actions to act in ways to continue to be broke, and we will continue to have this condition of being broke in our lives.

Your life experience is an outer reflection of your inner reality. All the thoughts and feelings you hold, consciously and unconsciously, are what create the experience that is your life. Your past created your present, and your present is creating your future.

It can be hard to understand that we are responsible for what we experience. I remember being unhappy, and then experiencing events that I perceived as causing me to be unhappy. Then I would say to myself, I am unhappy because of this… no wonder I am unhappy. I was trapped in my own vicious cycle and had no idea it was me who was responsible for my experiences of unhappiness.

To break the cycle I first needed to know what was broken in order to fix it. It was the message I was sending out. I found there was a very simple way to fix it.

If I notice one day that I am unhappy, and understand that BEING unhappy is the cause of my continuing experience of unhappiness, it is that day that I can choose to change. All I need to do to break the cycle is: choose to be happy.

It doesn’t take anything from outside myself to be happy. All I have to do is gain awareness, pause, and pull up from within myself the state of being happy, replacing the unhappiness. We all have this capacity.

Choosing is an exercise of free will. You can choose BE happy, healthy, wealthy, whatever you desire. Take a moment and just BE happy. It is possible for anyone to do and a very powerful exercise once you have done it and understood it.

If you are being happy, you will do things that make you happy, and you will attract happy experiences into your life. Being happy is the first step towards living a happy life. It seems almost like a riddle, but understanding it unravels the secrets of life.

If you find yourself broke, look within. You’ll find you feel broke, and are in a powerful state of BEING. The awareness of this gives you the choice. You can choose your state of being. Imagine what it is like to feel wealthy.

Take that feeling and hold it, you are now BEING wealthy.

This is how to break the vicious cycle of being broke. By BEING wealthy, you are now transforming the signals you are broadcasting. You are emanating wealth and the laws of cause and effect have no choice but to bring to you what you already are. Now your actions will begin to bring to you the wealth you feel inside.

By being conscious of your states of being, you can choose to change them. The positive results will return to you without fail, following the natural laws of the universe.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"FREE Book for you! - 101 Amazing Ways to Say I Love You! (Value $47)" (scroll down the site for instructions to get access to contents in the book!)
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you! Know what is the BEST decision to make!"
"Which lover or friend is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)