Thursday, March 26, 2009


It is time to take a step back and ask how we actually get at SUCCESS?

What is the secret of happiness and success and how can we make it part of our life and future? That is the ultimate and optimal question, now is it not?

There are indeed a wide array and variety of ways, perspectives and angles to look at and answer this pressing question. For all of us individually it may be quite different and unique. Bias, experience will all color, cloud, filter and change it for us.

Even if we fail to prosper and succeed, we may still be happy – this need not be a paradox, it is LIFE! REALITY!

Success is not measured by material things or some of what has been mentioned or deemed in society as elements, tokens or proof of acceptance, achievement and success. To each of us SUCCESS means and can be something totally different. We are not motivated by the same things.

For many of us happiness and success mean different things. We interpret success very uniquely personally. It is our own custom idea of what it represents.

We oftentimes define who we are by what do. We desire and want certain things in and from life – to us, this is and will define SUCCESS (for us, for me). If we are too ambitious, too selfish, we might not taste happiness at all in our pursuit of success. Morals and conscience comes into play as well.

In order for us to understand, embrace and really bring to fruition in our lives, happiness AND success, we need THREE ingredients:

a) Fairness
b) Empathy
c) Humility

These are the ground-rules so to speak for attaining the optimal success, regardless of how you/others define it.

Honesty, candor, intent, purpose and practice (actually walking the talk for example) will go a long way in defining success for and in your life.

It is not observed by fear alone or to avoid retaliation, but stems from a deep and general sense of doing what is right and justified, fair and acceptable. This becomes a pattern and a conscious choice in your life that drives everything that you do, fitting with your own in-born desire for just and fair, equal treatment.

You can be honest, fair and successful. You do not have to cheat or be devious, deceptive, overly ambitious, using others, to get what you want, need and desire. Success does not say a lot about your character or does it now?

It might actually embody and manifest who you really are, believe in, your core values etc. Success is also not defined or shaped, brought into reality by the endorsement and recognition, reward of and by others. Reputation and no self-doubt has to be present for successful pursuits and lives.

Empathy and being non-judgmental, suspending judgment and having an open-mindedness about you can and will only serve your purposes well.

It is not representing weakness by any means, it just stands for what is the best road and route to take, the most humane, fair and considerate path.

We need to all learn to tap into this side of ourselves a little more. It is somewhat counterintuitive and is a learned skill to be mastered and refined in our lives and futures.

Empathy for the feelings and situations of others and do what it right, true to core values, consistently, with concern for others is what is at stake here. You endear yourself to others without even realizing it.

Just doing what is right, for the right reasons. Not tooting your own horn to much or just being in something for yourself and your selfish gain will be recognized right away.

It is undeniably present It is tender and comes from deep within you, leading to heart-felt actions – you will know it when you see it and just KNOW it is right!

The optimal and ultimate ‘test’ for success is humility. Success not for personal gain or for the sake of success and its rewards. There is a deeply, broader purpose and contribution at stake here.

It takes real struggle, courage, constant active pursuit and individual conquest, to make progress, remaining true to self and core-values, focusing on others and outcome more-so than on self and personal reward, recognition and stature.

It is quite the opposite of arrogant self-indulgence. Humble, modest and honest, not seeking own interests seem so counter-intuitive when mentioned in the same breath with or of success. It is not about your own ambitions so much or per se.

Not looking down or despising others is what is at stake. Leading by example and being a good role-model for and of humility is critical for this quality of success and measure of happiness.

Refuse credit for self, allowing others opportunity, self-less and unselfish in thought and action, with no room for jealousy and/or price, allowing others to succeed, grow and thrive. A passion for others and genuine authentic, heartfelt, honest motives.

Being humble does not mean you are without back-bone or courage self-confidence or ambition. It just means that others things matter MORE!

In the words of Lord Beaverbrook’s inspirational messages from the popular public press and sought-after articles: “practise courage without arrogance and walk humbly without fear.”

This will contribute to your own feelings of well-being and all-round achievement, personal satisfaction and reward.

You will be living and picking the fruits of your definition and satisfaction of SUCCESS and happiness. It will help you gain self-awareness, insights you never before dreamt even possible.

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