Happy New Year: do these two things and you could make your new year so much wonderful and joyful!

I just got back from a trip where I spent a week relaxing, re-energizing and revisiting the key values in my life.

On the way down the beautiful mountain where I stayed one morning, I was in a hurry and going too fast for the terrain. I nearly fell. There were lots of rocks, and it was easy to hit a wobbly one and slip.

I slowed down, took a deep breath, and placed my foot down purposefully on the next rock, and then the next. I soon sped up and had to slow myself down again.

I decided that even if I was late, I would place each foot consciously every time I took a step.

It took a lot for me to do this. But it turned out to be an amazing centering and meditative practice.

One rock at a time -- that's all I chose to think about. And I was suddenly more aware of everything -- the sound of the wind, the chattering of birds and squirrels, and the light of the early morning sun on the golden aspens.

I thought: I could do this more often. Be here now. Feel the touch of my foot on the rock. Feel the steering wheel as I drive. BE at the stop light, instead of minutes or hours ahead at the destination. Hear the birds outside my office window.

I begin to think that multi-tasking is overrated. The really hard thing is to be fully present in one place at a time.

How aware are you of this moment?

Does life seem to speed up so much that you miss some of the most important parts? Take a moment right now and breathe.

Count to 5 on the inhale, and count 5 again on the exhale.

Take the time. It’s now that you’re alive, not yesterday and not tomorrow. Now.

"Centering is the art of being fully alive.
And wherever the art of centering is practiced,
things change dramatically."
-- Tom Crum, "Journey to Center"

Let me ask you, what if there were just two choices you could make to insure this new year would be wonderful?

There actually are, and these choices are quite simple in concept, yet not easy to do. They are not things you do on the outside, such as exercising your body (which is always a good thing to do!) but ways of thinking and being on the inside.

These have to do with your attitude and your intent.

GRATITUDE

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the “attitude of gratitude.” Studies show that the happiest and most successful people in the world are those who consistently live their lives with an attitude of gratitude, who see their cup as half full rather than half empty.

Let’s take an example.

Alan and Martin are both firemen. They are both married with children, but this is where the similarities stop. Alan’s life seems to always be filled with joy and success, while Martin’s life always seems to be in turmoil. What is the difference?

Alan is a very upbeat person who always sees the good in everything and is always in gratitude for what he has. He is thankful for his work, his health, his family and his friends. When difficulties arise, he faces them head-on with an attitude of gratitude for the opportunity to learn and to help others.

He believes he is spiritually guided and accepts challenges as opportunities for learning and serving. As a result of his openness and caring, people trust him and have come to him with opportunities to invest his money in ways that have created a passive income for his family. He continues to work because he likes it, not because he has to financially.

Martin, on the other hand, is a person who is constantly complaining about everything. Nothing is ever good enough for him. He blames others for his circumstances, takes no responsibility for his own feelings, and has no belief that he is being spiritually guided.

He feels like a victim most of the time. As a result of the stress he causes himself due to his negative thinking, he is often ill, and experiences many family problems. He plods along in his work, resentful that he even has to work. He often feels like life is passing him by.

INTENT TO LEARN

God has given is the free will to choose our intention, to choose is what is most important to us in any given moment. In our relationship with ourselves and others, we have only two intentions to choose from:

a) The intent to learn, with our spiritual Guidance, about what is most loving to ourselves and others;

b) The intent to protect against the pain of rejection, abandonment, engulfment, or failure through some form of controlling behavior.

Our intent to learn or protect determines our experience in any given moment.
Hilary and Alice are both married with children. Both women work as nurses, but, as with Alan and Martin, this is where the similarity ends. Hilary and Alice have similar life challenges in both work and family, yet to look at Hilary you would think she doesn’t have a care in the world.

Hilary embraces all of life’s challenges from a solid knowing that she is on a spiritual journey of the soul – a journey of learning to be the most loving person she can be, both with herself and with others.

She accepts responsibility for her own feelings and behavior, and opens to learning with Spirit and others when conflict occurs. Rather than shying away from conflict, she welcomes it as an opportunity for learning about herself and for healing any blocks to being a pure instrument of God’s work upon the planet. Hilary feels much peace and joy in her life.

Alice, on the other hand, is locked into the earthly journey of control. Instead of learning from conflicts, she avoids them with giving herself up or getting angry to have control over the outcome.

Rather than taking responsibility for her own feelings, she often numbs out with food and wine. Control is her God. Alice is often anxious and depressed as a result of her intent to protect, and is on medication to deal with the resulting anxiety and depression.

It is not life’s circumstances that are causing Alan and Hilary to have so much more peace and joy than Alice and Martin.

Choosing gratitude and the intent to learn, as opposed to complaining and the intent to protect makes all the difference in the world.

Make this coming year the best year of your life by making these two choices – gratitude and the intent to learn.

I wish you my dear readers good energy in every moment!

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"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
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"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
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"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

How you can achieve the impossible?

Watch the waves.

Watch small waves, and watch the large waves.

Watch them coming in, on the shore untiringly.

What do we see?

We see the passion. We see the energy. We also wonder about the purpose of the non-stop motion of the waves.

Waves have the undying passion of meeting the shore. They never get tired doing that. One after another, they keep on coming. They keep on smashing on the shore and then subsiding. Then comes another wave.

This goes on and on. We have watched the waves so many times that we don't pay attention to this passion. This passion can teach us a lot.

Download some screensavers with videos of waves. Watch them from time to time.

You will slowly get that visual of waves associated in your mind with unceasing passion.

The first teaching is not getting tired. Waves don't get tired. They have a job to do - meet the shore again and again. So they keep on. When we have a job to do, we must behave like that.

Non-stop work without getting tired. We will surely get tired, but a visual of waves will remind us immediately that we have work to do and we will continue despite all the tiredness.

The second teaching is work without any break.

Have we seen waves taking a small break? Never. Same way, we are passionately working towards a goal, we have to keep that passion on all the time.

Every moment that passion must drive us. No other thought but our passion. Great work is done only with such passion. You can achieve impossible with this kind of passion.

The third teaching is passion itself.

Waves are passionate to meet the shores. They think of nothing but the shore. Similarly we must develop passion for something. Love creates such passion.

Romantic love can do that and so can the love for human beings, like Mother Teresa had. Develop passion for something.

Whatever may be your occupation, if you develop passion for excellence, you will get unbelievable results. Let us develop that passion.

Let us say - I will passionately work in a manner so that I am satisfied only with the best results. I will keep this passion on forever in my work. I will do everything with passion and will make sure that I achieve great results.

Take inspiration from the passion of waves and you shall achieve success, great success.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Personal Power: Why you must not forget your body while you wrestle with a relationship or marital crisis

Relationship crisis (break-up, affair, huge conflict, children problems) demand tremendous energy and often throw our lives off a healthy track - which further perpetuates our inability to respond in a healthy way to the crisis.

Don't forget your body while you wrestle with a relationship or marital crisis.

It is easy to let yourself go. It is easy to postpone - I will start tomorrow - your walking, running or workout. Your preoccupation with the other person floods your life, leaving little room for anything else.

Or, you find yourself so overwrought that it seems impossible to "talk yourself" into getting started.

But, exercise and nutrition are powerful tools to help yourself at this point. Here are 6 reasons why:

1. Exercise and attention to your nutrition shift your focus to you.

Exclusive focus on the other person atrophies your spirit, your energy, productivity, your healthy emotions and your body.

You fade.

You diminish.

You become less than you truly are. So much of my work with others is helping them begin to think about themselves and take action for themselves.

This is a major move. And it can begin by focusing on your body. It is the best, most practical place to begin.

Your body is basic. It is a huge part of you. Begin paying attention to it.

2. Focusing on the body, using it, stimulating it, making it stretch and sweat is a great way to reduce stress.

I'm not an expert here, but I understand it kicks in healthy body chemicals and cleanses some of the toxins - calming your mind, heart and soul.

3. Your confidence grows as you begin to manage your body and see changes in its endurance, strength and beauty.

You begin to think better thoughts about yourself. Self-care can result in a minor miracle in terms of your perception of yourself.

4. You will begin to think of yourself as more desirable and sexy.

Your sense of sexiness may be at risk. It may be on the line. It may be called into question. Doubts abound.

It is a complicated and powerful issue in our culture. (Watch a few commercials on TV.) Exercise and physical health cuts through the doubts. Being physically healthy is sexy. You feel more sexual and you become more desirable.

5. Physical fitness is one of the first steps to becoming highly attractive and exerting your personal power.

Once you believe and act attractive, the power of the relationship or marital crisis will lessen in your life.

It actually might seem rather juvenile. Yes, there is more to attractiveness than looking great.

But, we begin by honing our body, working it and caring for it. This builds the foundation for other forms of attractiveness and personal power.

6. You assume control.

You may feel, as a result of the relationship crisis in your life, that you have little control or influence. It seems to become a waiting game.

You wait for the other person. This other person or the situation seemingly dictates your every move and thought.

You feel paralyzed. When you begin to move your body, you take control. Getting on a great exercise, fitness program makes you the master of that part of your life.

You are in control. That feels good. That is good.

Beginning an exercise or fitness program in the midst of a relationship crisis is easier said than done. Usually we need support, encouragement or some sort of structure to get us moving.

We have good intentions, but the follow through is lacking.

You have no further to look than online. There are great sites on the web that help you get started, offer encouragement and resources and keep you motivated and on track. Take advantage of these resources.

Want to resolve your marriage or relationship crisis? Want to stop your breakup or divorce with your loved one? Use ONLY the proven blueprints from Cucan Pemo!

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Help! My boss is an idiot!?

This one is probably the single toughest one to overcome.

If your boss is a bad one, things probably will not improve. Unfortunately, someone has got to be in charge in any organization, and when your boss is incompetent or just unreasonable or biased, you are going to be in for a long, tough slog each day.

If you boss is merely incompetent, the best thing you can do is to provide as much help to him as you can.

Not only will you make yourself invaluable to him, you will also gradually learn his job—thus positioning yourself to move up in this, or a different organization.

The greater your skill set, the greater your flexibility when it comes to finding a more challenging and fulfilling employment opportunity!

If, on the other hand, your boss is unreasonable or biased, you have several strategies available—none of them good ones.

You can buckle down and take the abuse; do the job as best you can and hope that he notices your value; you can start looking for another job; you can go over his head and hope that his boss might help; or you can seek legal action.

Keep in mind that your boss’s boss may well not care if he is abusive towards you. The higher ups in a company tend to be bottom line oriented, and if your boss’s numbers are good, your unhappiness may just be the price of doing business to them.

If you are going to fight, keep in mind that there is a very good chance that you are going to lose. Understand the risks before you make the attempt!

Have you reached a point where keeping your sanity mandates that you take the risk?

Your mantra (if you choose to fight) is DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT.

Write everything down. Keep a journal of what’s going on, every time you have contact with your boss, note it.

Keeping a record will also enable you to cover your backside if things do get out of hand. Protect yourself.

There are many reasons that you might hate your job, but no matter what they are, you’re not the first person to have gone through this. You’re not alone. Keep an open mind about possible solutions for your problem.

Think it through, communicate with your co-workers and employer, and be ready to change your attitude. You’ve probably heard it said before, but it’s true.

No one can make you feel inadequate without your permission

This is true for a lot of things—no one can make you feel unhappy without your permission, no one can make you feel angry without your permission, and so on.

Your attitude may very well be the ONLY thing you CAN change about your job and that’s really ok. It’s up to you as to how you react to things.

Learn to look for the positive in each situation in instead of the negative. You’ll find that it truly will make a big difference.

And if all else fails, is your present job really worth the loss of your sanity and your health?

Stress is probably the leading preventable cause of poor health in the world today. If you’ve tried everything to improve your job, and nothing has helped, do NOT be afraid to seek out a new position elsewhere.

Remember, a job is merely a means to pay for your life. Your life is not something that you should be giving to your job!

So until (and if) you make that big change, do your best to adjust your attitude. You might even discover that your job isn’t as bad as you once thought.

-------------

"How to Retire At Whatever Your Age!"
"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Bored to death? How to add more wonder to your own life!

When I was a child during the first time I flew on a flight with my parents, I remember the wonder of looking out at the clouds and the topography far below. I remember watching our land. The entire thing was a great adventure and I was full of wonder.

In college, as I flew once in awhile, I always got a window seat - I wanted to be able to watch the ground pass below me. The wonderment of it all - the patterns and beauty of looking out the window was overwhelming.

Yes, I would sometimes read or do something else, but much of the flight I would sit… and stare… and be in wonder of it all.

Soon after I started working, I found myself flying a bit more, and it became clear that during my business life that I would fly. I mentioned once to my Mom, who loves to fly, that I’d never lose that great feeling that an airplane flight brings - and that I would always get window seats.

Somewhere along the way from flying once every couple months to flying 100,000 miles per year I moved to the aisle. I lost the wonder of it all.

Last week, I had a window seat and stopped working or reading long enough to spend some time looking out the window. Today, as I write this, I have just finished 20 minutes of window gazing.

Some of the wonder is back!

There are many things in our lives that we once considered wonderful.

Many of those things we now take for granted. All of this makes me wonder, where the wonder has gone.

I believe seeing the wonder in things around us is one of the ways we make our lives more meaningful and enjoyable.

This is one of the reasons we go on vacations. Yes, some people’s vacations consist of little more than a beach (which can be wonderful in many ways!).

But many more people take time to learn new things on vacations, by going to museums and art galleries. Many of us travel to exotic places to marvel at sites, and cultures and foods. Wonder plays a big part in the allure of these trips and the satisfaction gained from the experiences.

You may be thinking, is wonder really such a big deal? I would say a resounding yes! Why?

Think about it, the absence of wonder, is often called boredom, or worse, cynicism. These are not things that people aspire to!

While we can all certainly experience wonder in new things - new locations, new experiences, new books, new ideas, I believe I found an important key to a more enjoyable life outside the plane window.

That key is to add more wonder to life by re-capturing past wonder, and finding new wonder in the things I do each day.

There are several things we can do to add to the wonder in our lives - to make our lives more wonder-full.

1. Look at things with fresh eyes.

Think about things that have become habit for you. The next time you do them, do them as if you were a beginner again. Start with your drive or commute to work. Make it an exercise in finding wonder.

For example, perhaps you go by a school on your way. Spend some time thinking about things from your kidhood days in school. Then try this “fresh-eyed” approach to other routine tasks.

2. Make a list of things you found wonderful at different stages in your life.

If you write a journal do it there. If not, make these lists instead of watching TV one evening. Once you have the list, spend some time reveling in those wonders. Think too about how you could re-experience those things again.

3. Make a list of wonders you find each day or week.

Again, a great journaling task, or a great routine to add to your planning for a new week.

4. Plan a mini-vacation or a day trip to someplace wonderful for you.

If you grew up on a farm, a drive in the country in spring or fall is particularly helpful in restoring your sense of wonder in the growing process.

Others might find your mini day to be boring - help them see your wonder - and in turn you will experience your own at a deeper level. Then go with them when they try to recapture their own.

5. Go to an old event, focused on different things.

The next time you go to a ball game, focus less on the action, and more on the spectators, or vice versa. Go shopping and shop for something entirely different than you usually would. You get the idea.

These are just a few ideas to help you re-infuse your life with wonder. This idea is really taking hold in my life, in small ways each day is more wonder-full and more meaningful as well.

I believe when you choose to rediscover your wonder, you’ll benefit in the same ways.

-------------

"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

How do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don’t feel like it

Walking in my neighborhood one day, I am struck by the beauty of the day – forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze – and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in a healthy body, through a friendly neighborhood, of my own volition.

I think about how much I take for granted, and how easy it is to feel centered and content when life is easy, flowing, and conflict free.

The day before was not so. It was rainy, windy, and cold. I hadn't slept and woke up short-tempered and irritable. (Will winter never end?!)

A project I'd been putting off could not be postponed any longer, and I knew I had to finish it even though I had no inspiration for it. My body ached from hard martial arts practice the night before, and I felt tired and lacked energy.

I opened a window and spilled a potted plant all over my office floor. And the last piece of my favorite toasting bread had mysteriously disappeared from its storage place. Tomorrow – who knows?

As my friend Jade says, life can fall on your head at any moment.

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."
~ From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley

So how do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don’t feel like it?

I kept thinking: "You can do this, this is great, exactly what you look for, ideal opportunities to practice . . . center, breathe, laugh. Sure, it's easy to be centered when things are going your way. This is the perfect day to practice – when they aren't."

I'm embarrassed to say that it was still hard. The only good news that I was able to give myself was that I noticed.

I could see I was having a "pity party," which was a step in the right direction. Friend and colleague, Jason Ho, calls this ability to step outside our selves and acknowledge our reactions meta-communication.

My meta-communicator is the role that says, Hey, hey, you're really having a strong reaction to that plant falling over. Whoah! Are you sure you want to throw it through the window? Right, probably not.

The meta-communicator is the insulation between my reaction and my response. It keeps me from getting dragged down an emotionally reactive path that I will probably regret. The ability to meta-communicate is a sign of emotional intelligence, analogous to self-awareness, and essential to self-control.

Without the ability to meta-communicate, I get lost in the emotion and identify with it. There is no distance, no separation between me and my mental state; the attitude, emotion, or mood overrides conscious thought and takes me wherever it wants.

I can only talk about the emotion again (like this) when it's played itself out and I regain the ability to see it.

Centering awakens the meta-communicator. Taking a moment of literal and figurative inspiration – breathing and connecting to my power source – gives me the time and the space to decide if I want to get dragged off or not.

Pity parties are fun sometimes. I can enjoy getting together telephonically or in person with special friends. We dress up in our best long-suffering attitudes and moan about this event or that person, how much work there is to do and how little time.

We bring our meta-communicators along, and we laugh at ourselves in the midst of our complaining. It's a lot more fun to whine with awareness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind."

How do you like what's happening in your life at the moment? I realize it may be a lot more challenging than winter weather. Still, gently experiment with changing your relationship to life events, and see what happens.

When I am willing and able to do this, to change my mind, everything changes.

It begins by noticing my reactive state.

I'm upset.

Okay - Upset Energy. How can I use it in a way that's congruent with my values and vision?

I take charge of it, before it takes charge of me.

I begin to travel a path of power and presence, instead of a path of reactivity and regret.

As I place that bit of padding between my reaction and my response, I reclaim my power. I reconnect with what is really important.

Why am I here?

What do I want to contribute to this workplace, this family unit, this relationship?

What are my hopes for this conversation? How will I impact this meeting?

More sunny days and uplifting moments are on the horizon. But whatever the external or internal weather conditions, I am protected by an inner spring of insight that is always awake, aware, and available to be turned on at any moment.

And I remember all that I have to be grateful for, including the privilege of having unsettling emotions.

How are you inventing your life today, this moment? Is life a struggle, or does it flow?

It's possible that the answers are really up to you.

Do you feel being abandoned? Know how to heal your wounds!

How to deal with abandonment issues and heal your abandonment wounds!


-------------

"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

How to stop procrastinating and get things done!

Here are 7 easy steps to help you stop procrastinating.

Not every tip will work for every person, so take what you can from this list and see what works for you.
1) Take an Inventory.

Do you hear a little nagging voice in your head telling you that you need to do something? Can you see a visual in your head about the task you are avoiding and are you feeling the physical and emotional consequences of what will happen if you do not complete this task?

Look at the clues that tell you just when and how you are procrastinating and you will be able to see that you are indeed putting something off.

Sometimes it is difficult to tell when you are procrastinating because you are attempting to avoid thinking about it but if you piece together the clues you will be able to pinpoint your behavior in order to get a handle on it.
2) Learn How You Procrastinate.

Do you think if you ignore the job at hand it will eventually go away and not bother you? I tried that once with a speeding ticket and nearly lost my license due to procrastination. Trust me when I say that ignoring the problem would not cause it to disappear in a puff of smoke.

Do you over-estimate or under-estimate the degree of difficulty in completing the task? Do you scoff at the impact not finishing the task will have on your future? Perhaps you substitute something important for something REALLY important, like putting the dishes away instead of working on that term paper that is due in two hours.

Maybe you take a short break, but let that short break turn into an all night event, and therefore put off getting to that task you need to finish.

You might focus on one part of the job to the exclusion of the remaining task and thereby never finish the entire thing.

Once you recognize how you procrastinate, you will better be able to put a stop to it. Often we do not even realize that we are procrastinating until it is too late and we’ve missed a deadline.

3) Make Yourself a Productive Environment.

For example, if you work from home, create a home office where there is no TV to distract you from your work. Sure, that baseball game is playing but you do not have time to watch it because you have a deadline with a client. If the TV is there, you will be tempted to turn it on and then full-blown procrastination occurs. If you are addicted to the Internet, but need to use your laptop or computer to do your work, then try to go somewhere where you would not be able to receive a signal and get online.

Removing temptation to do something other than what you NEED to do will help you put a stop to procrastination.

4) Throw Out Those Procrastination Myths.

Have you ever told yourself: I work best under pressure? That is the myth that nearly kept me from graduating from college. Once you believe that you can only work under pressure, you are giving yourself permission to procrastinate.

This can snowball and create serious problems for you if you have several deadlines looming. Or have you always told yourself : I cannot do this unless I have five uninterrupted hours?

This is simply another stalling technique that master procrastinators use for telling themselves it is ok to not start the project because they would not have time to finish it. If you do not start the task you will never finish it. It is okay to start something and then stop so you can finish it later.

Sometimes the simple act of beginning a task will break the cycle of procrastination and allow you to finish your job.

5) I cannot do this unless it is perfect.

The problem that most procrastinators have is that we are too hard on ourselves, demanding perfection where perfection is impossible. If you think you cannot start your term paper until you have THE perfect opening sentence, then you have once again given yourself permission to put it off.

6) Break Down the Job.

You have a job to do and it looks enormous. You could never, ever complete a job that big, so why even start? If that is your mindset, then you probably would not finish the job.

In order to combat this kind of thinking, break the job or task down into small, manageable chunks. Your kitchen is a disaster, it is too much for you to handle. Start on one end and clean off one counter. Voila! You have started.

Take baby steps and soon you WILL see that the entire task has been completed.

7) Change Your Attitude.

Often times we do not begin something we have to do because we tell ourselves how difficult it is going to be, or how disgusting the job is and how much we are going to hate doing it.

By giving ourselves reverse-pep talks we give ourselves permission to avoid beginning the task at hand. When you hear yourself doing this, change your attitude.

Be like the Little Engine that Could and tell yourself that you CAN do this, it is not that difficult or disgusting. If you tell yourself that you do not know how to do a particular task, change that around to tell yourself that you can learn as you go.

It is all a matter of mind over matter. If you think you can, you can.

It is true that you may not be able to do everything on your own. You are not Superman, though you do think you would look pretty cool in those red tights. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help when you know that you cannot do it on your own. If you do not understand a project at work, rather than putting it on the back burner and procrastinating, ask someone to clarify it for you.

Once you understand it better, the fear of tackling it will be gone and you can proceed. If you have a big job to do, then ask a friend or a coworker to help you be accountable for working on it. Let them check up on you every so often to see that you are making progress and soon you’ll find that the job is completed. The Buddy System is NOT just for deep sea divers anymore!

Also, remember, if you put away the project specs where you cannot see them, it is much easier to not think about what needs to be done. Leave your work where you can see it, as a visual reminder of what you have to do. If it is hidden, it is forgotten!

-------------

"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

Failure is the mother of success? So how do you deal with failure?

I used to volunteer in a school and I always say to my children, as long as you try your best, there is no such thing as failure. I believe this one hundred percent and it is a philosophy I am trying to install into the kids I meet in my life.

When I worked in the real estate industry, I used to sit the examinations for would be brokers. I would always study hard and give it my all, however there were only three options as results.

These were, distinction, pass or fail. I hate this word fail, in their eyes I failed twice, but did I though? As already stated, I could not have tried any harder, therefore how dare they call me a failure.

This result of fail is also a very negative and some what cruel mark. The question I would like answered, is did I fail by a long way, only a couple of points or quite a few points?

Seeing the word fail tells me nothing. I personally think that everybody should be given a mark, possibly with an A for the best mark, going down to a G for the worst.

I was discussing this very subject with a colleague from work. He actually agreed with the points I was making and told me about an argument he had with one of his teachers when he was at school.

He had overheard this particular teacher, discussing his sisters previous years examination results, with another teacher.

They were being very critical about her, basically saying how badly she had done. My colleague knew how much effort his sister had put in and told the teacher as much, stating that in his eyes she had passed every one of those exams.

Whatever you do in life, as long as you try your best, there is no such thing as failure.

"The power of discovery enables us to achieve excellence without having to be "perfect.'"
~ Thomas Crum, The Magic of Conflict

One of my favorite words, the concept of Discovery excites the brain, conjures up lost treasure, desert islands, new inventions, and old relics, something that was – up to now – unknown.

Explorers discover new lands, scientists discover cures for diseases, and philosophers seek to discover the truth.

What about discovering each other? Learning what is new and important in each of our neighbors, friends, family, colleagues; what has been lost in the daily grind of work; truths, values, and hopes that are yet to be revealed?

Discovery. A lovely word.

I first came to appreciate Discovery in The Magic of Conflict, where Thomas Crum describes it as a magical domain that "allows us to move beyond the fight, beyond success, to an open realm of possibility."

When we’re in Discovery mode, we are spontaneous, curious, fascinated, and appreciative of life in all its diversity.

Young children live in Discovery and sometimes we do. Katharine Hepburn lived a life of stardom but never lost her childlike fascination with people and life.

Thomas Edison’s famous quotation after many attempts at inventing the light bulb shows a person in Discovery mode:

"I have not failed.
I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work!"

What’s the opposite of Discovery? Perfection – a place with which we're all too familiar.

In Perfection, things have to be done right, we have to look good, get good grades, and win the games we play.

Our standards are high, and failure is to be avoided at all costs. In daily conflicts, sometimes at the expense of our dearest relationships, we have to prevail. When we feel attacked we fight back, sometimes with our own hurtful words, or with behavior calculated to control, manipulate and diminish.

According to Tom Crum, when we shift into Discovery, we treat mistakes as outcomes and conflicts as opportunities to learn and understand more of the world and our partners. We stop being afraid to fail because there is no failure, only increased awareness and experience.

We enter a world of wonder, spontaneity, and fun.

We shift into Discovery, not with judgment, but with awareness – by moving from "How can I be right about this?" to: "What can I learn here?"

When I'm angry because I just missed a three-foot putt, Discovery changes self-judgment into an opportunity for learning.

In the middle of a tough meeting with your department manager, try asking yourself - "What can I learn here?" What is it about this issue that's important to each of us?

Upon arriving home, you find your life partner upset.Your first reaction is that it's something you did.

But wait! "What can I learn here?" jumps into your thoughts, and you ask: "Honey, you seem upset. Anything I can help with?" And you hear: "I'm just worried that I won’t finish this new project they gave me at work in time."

Or your teenager is exhibiting new habits that have you worried. It's worth checking out what the worldview is from her perspective before reaching a judgment.

We have all experienced moments of Discovery when we break through to a new understanding. It’s a powerful place that we like and want to revisit.

The challenge is to choose to go there on purpose, especially in difficult situations. Katharine Hepburn has been quoted as saying, "Wouldn’t it be great if people could get to live suddenly as often as they die suddenly?" Shifting from perfection to Discovery is the way. Try it. Discover for yourself.

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"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

What is the purpose of life on earth?

BEFORE water generates steam, it must register two hundred and twelve degrees of heat. Two hundred degrees will not do it; two hundred and ten will not do it. The water must boil before it will generate enough steam to move an engine, to run a train. Lukewarm water will not run anything.

A great many people are trying to move their life trains with lukewarm water - or water that is almost boiling - and they are wondering why they are stalled, why they cannot get ahead.

They are trying to run a boiler with two hundred or two hundred and ten degrees of heat, and they cannot understand why they do not get anywhere.

Luke warmness in his work stands in the same relation to man's achievement as lukewarm water does to the locomotive boiler. No man can hope to accomplish anything great in this world until he throws his whole soul, flings the force of his whole life, into it.

In Phillips Brooks's talks to young people, he used to urge them to be something with all their might. It is not enough simply to have a general desire to be something.

There is but one way to accomplish it; and that is, to strive to be somebody with all the concentrated energy we can muster. Any kind of a human being can wish for a thing, can desire it; but only strong, vigorous minds with great purposes can do things.

There is an infinite distance between the wishers and the doers. A mere desire is lukewarm water, which never will take a train to its destination; the purpose must boil, must be made into live stream to do the work.

Who would ever have heard of Theodore Roosevelt outside of his immediate community if he had only half committed himself to what he had undertaken; if he had brought only part of himself to his task?

The great secret of his career has been that he has flung his whole life, not a part of it, with all the determination and energy and power he could muster, into everything he has undertaken.

No dillydallying, no faint-hearted efforts, no lukewarm purpose for him!

Every life of power must have a great master purpose which takes precedence of all other motives — a supreme principle which is so commanding and so imperative in its demands for recognition and exercise that there can be no mistaking its call. Without this the water of energy will never reach the boiling point, the life train will not get anywhere.

The man with a vigorous purpose is a positive, constructive, creative force. No one can be resourceful, inventive, original or creative without powerful concentration; and the undivided focusing of the mind is only possible along the line of the ambition, the life purpose.

We cannot focus the mind upon a thing we are not interested in and enthusiastic about.

A man ought to look upon his career as a great artist looks upon his masterpiece, as an outpicturing of his best self, upon which he dwells with infinite pride and a satisfaction which nothing else can give. Yet many people are so loosely connected with their vocation that they are easily separated from it.

I know young men who seem anxious to get on in their careers, but in a single evening they could be induced to give up their calling for something else. They are always wondering whether they are in the right place, or where their ability will count most. They lose heart when they strike obstacles; or they become discouraged when they hear of some one else who has made a success in some other line, and wonder if they had not better try something in the same line.

If one is so loosely attached to his occupation that he can be easily induced to give it up, you may be sure that he is not in the right place. If nature has called you to a position, if the call runs in your blood, it is a part of your life and you cannot get away from it. It is not a separate thing from yourself.

It exists in every brain cell, every nerve cell; every blood corpuscle contains some of it. You can no more get away from it than a leopard can get away from his spots. So when a young man asks me if I do not think he had better make a change, I feel very certain that he is not in the place God called him to, for the thing he was made for is as much a part of his real being as his temperament. It is nearer to him than his heartbeat, closer than his breath. There is a photograph of the thing he was made for, in every cell in his body. He cannot get away from it.

The thing which will make the life distinctive, which will make it a power, is the one supreme thing which we want to do, and feel that we must do; and, no matter how long we may be delayed from this aim, or how far we may be swerved aside by mistakes or iron circumstances, we should never give up hope or a determination to pursue our object.

Some people have not the moral courage, the persistence, the force of character, to get the things out of the way which stand between them and their ambition. They allow themselves to be pushed this way and that way into things for which they have no fitness or taste.

Their will power is not strong enough to enable them to fight their way to their goal. They are pushed aside by the pressure about them, and do the things for which they have little or no liking or adaptation.

If there is anything in the world a person should fight for, it is freedom to pursue his ideal, because in that is his great opportunity for self-expression, for the unfoldment of the greatest thing possible to him. It is his great chance to make his life tell in the largest, completest way; to do the most original, distinctive thing possible to him.

If he does not pursue his ideal, does not carry out his supreme aim, his life will be more or less of a failure, no matter how much he may be actuated by a sense of duty, or how much he may exert his will power to overcome his handicap.

There is great power in a resolution that has no reservation in it - a strong, persistent, tenacious purpose which burns all bridges behind it, clears all obstacles from its path, and arrives at its goal, no matter how long it may take, no matter what the sacrifice or the cost.

The inspiration of a great, positive aim transforms the life and revolutionizes a shiftless, ambitionless, good-for-nothing man as if some divine energy had worked in him - even as love sometimes transforms a slovenly, purposeless, coarse man into a clean, methodical, diviner being.

When the awakening power of a new purpose, a resolute aim, is born in a man, he is a new creature. He sees everything in a new light. The doubts, the fears, the apathy, the vicious temptations which dogged his steps only yesterday, the stagnation which had blighted his past life, all vanish as if by magic.

They are dispelled by the breath of a new purpose. Beauty and system take the place of unsightliness and confusion. Order reigns in the place of anarchy. All his slumbering faculties awaken to activity.

The effect of this new ambition is like the clarifying change made by a waterway in a stagnant, swampy district. The water clarifies as soon as it begins to move, to do something; flowers spring up in place of poisonous weeds, and vegetation, beauty, birds and song make joyous the once miasmic atmosphere.

Chemists tell us that when a compound is broken up and an atom is released from the attraction of other atoms, it takes on new energy and immediately seeks combination with another free atom; but the longer it remains alone, the weaker it becomes. It seems to lose much of its vitality and power of attraction when idle.

When the atom is first freed from the grasp of its fellows, it is called nascent — "new born." It is then that it has its maximum of gripping power; and if it finds a free atom immediately after it is released, it will unite with it with greater vigor than ever. The power seems to go out of it, if it delays its union with another atom.

Mythology tells us that Minerva, the goddess of Wisdom, sprang complete, full-orbed, full-grown, from Jupiter's brain.

Man's highest conception, his most effective thought, most inventive and resourceful ideas, and grandest visions spring full-orbed, complete, with their maximum of power, spontaneously from the brain.

Men who postpone their visions, who delay the execution of their ideas, who bottle up their thoughts, to be used at a more convenient time, are always weaklings. The forceful, vigorous, effective men are those who execute their ideas while they are full of the enthusiasm of inspiration.

Our ideas, our visions, our resolutions come to us fresh every day, because this is the divine program for the day, not for to-morrow.

Another inspiration, new ideas will come to-morrow.

Today we should carry out the inspiration of the day.

A divine vision flashes across the artist's mind with lightning-like rapidity, but it is not convenient for him to seize his brush and fasten the immortal vision before it fades.

He keeps turning it over and over in his mind. It takes possession of his very soul but he is not in his studio, or it is not convenient to put his divine vision upon canvas, and the picture gradually fades from his mind.

A strong, vigorous conception flashes into the brain of the writer, and he has an almost irresistible impulse to seize his pen and transfer the beautiful images and the fascinating conception to paper; but it is not convenient at the moment, and, while it seems almost impossible to wait, he postpones the writing.

The images and the conception keep haunting him, but he still postpones. Finally the visions grow dimmer and dimmer, and at last fade away and are lost forever.

There is a reason for all this.

Why do we have these strong, vigorous impulses; these divine visions of splendid possibilities? Why do they come to us with such rapidity and vigor, such vividness and suddenness?

It is because it is intended that we shall use them while fresh, execute them while the inclination is hot. Our ideas, our visions are like the manna of the wilderness, which the Israelites were obliged to gather fresh every day. If they undertook to hoard it, it became stale, the nourishment evaporated, the life went out of it.

They could not use old manna.

There is something about allowing a strong resolution to evaporate without executing it that has a deteriorating influence upon the character. It is the execution of a plan that makes stamina. Almost anybody can resolve to do a great thing; it is only the strong, determined character that puts the resolve into execution.

If we could only make our highest moments permanent, what splendid things we should do in life, and what magnificent beings we should become; but we let our resolutions cool, our visions fade until it is more convenient to execute them, and they are gone.

There is no easier way in which one can hypnotize or deceive himself than by thinking that because he is always making great resolutions he is doing something worthwhile or carrying them out.

I know a man who would feel insulted if any one were to intimate that he had not been a hard worker, and had not accomplished a great deal in life; and yet although he is an able man, his whole life has been spent in jumping out of one thing and into another so quickly that one could scarcely see the change.

Yet every time you see him he carries his head high, he is as enthusiastic and optimistic as though his whole life had been one triumphant march. His enthusiasm is intense - but it fades away just as quickly as it came.

The very fact that he always lives in the clouds, is always dreaming of the great things he is going to do, seems to convince him that he actually does them. But he never stays at one thing long enough to reach effectiveness. His whole life has been spent in starting things brilliantly and enthusiastically, few men have ever begun so many things as he, or completed so few.

The putting off habit will kill the strongest initiative. Too much caution and lack of confidence are fatal enemies of initiative. How much easier it is to do a thing when the purpose impels us, when enthusiasm carries us along, than when everything drags in the postponement! One is drudgery, the other delight.

Hungering and striving after knowledge is what makes a scholar; hungering and striving after virtue is what makes a saint; hungering and striving after noble action is what makes a hero and a man.

The great successes we see everywhere are
but the realization of an intense longing, a
concentrated effort.

Everyone is gravitating toward his aim just in proportion to the power and intensity of his desire, and his struggle to realize it.

One merely "desires" to do this or that, or "wishes" he could, or "would be glad" if he could. Another knows perfectly well that, if he lives, he is going to do the thing he sets his heart on if it is within the limits of human possibility. We do not hear him whining because nobody will pay his way to college.

He does not say he "wishes" he could go. He says, "I am going to prepare myself for the great life work. I have faith in my future. I have made a vow to myself to succeed, and I am going to do so on a broad-gauge plan. I am not going to start out half equipped, half fitted. I will have a college training."

When you find a boy who resolves within himself that, come what will, he is going to do the thing he sets his heart on, and that there are no "ifs" or "buts" or "ands" about it, you may be sure he is made of winning stuff.

He will not postpone and post-pone the realization of his vision until too late, until its glory has vanished. He will lose no time in putting forth all his energy to make it real, and, if it is a possible thing he will succeed.

-------------

"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)

What to do if my life is full of ups and downs, and uncertainties!

Life is full of ups and downs, and uncertainties! It sometimes has a few sideways thrown in too. When things go wrong or don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance and doubt ourselves it can be tough to deal with.

After all, we all want things to go well and to end up as ‘winners’. But life will always throw challenges at us, and we can’t control everything.

Nor should we try. It’s not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you that makes the difference!

-------------

"Want to know what your future has in store for you? Want to your own Destiny? Get your FREE insightful Destiny Reports!"
How to save a Relationship! (PROVEN methods, works for all men and women!)
"What Men Want!" - What men want you to know, secrets he will never, ever tell you in your face!
"What Women Want" - Get insider peek into her mind and heart!
"How to make anyone fall in love with you!" - Attract your Mr/Mrs Right TODAY!
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!" - No more headaches to finding the perfect gifts for your loved ones, give them something that will MOVE them to tears!
"Find out your Biorhythms online!"
"Have a pressing question or doubt? Want some wise advice fast? Ask the I Ching for advice!"
"What's the best decision to make? Get your FREE Rune Readings!"
"Get your FREE Taort Readings! Know what your future has in store for you!"
"Which lover is the best one for you? Check your love compatibility!"
"Give a gift of inspiration to all your friends, family members and lover!"
How to deal with Loneliness
Feeling lonely? Find out what you can do on your lonely weekends! (tons of weird, crazy, fun ideas!!!)